AshleyNotes

Winter Blast '12!

2012-02-11T21:27:00.000-08:00

Last weekend, I spent my first weekend away from my little baby. Not for a romantic getaway, not for a girly vacay, but for 48 hours of fun with middle school and high school students. I (with the help of two friends) had the honor of leading a family group of 28 sixth grade girls. They were nuts! Talking and giggling and LOSING EVERYTHING they own and talking and giggling some more. They're gorgeous, aren't they? But behind those sweet smiles, you find crazy, loud little girls. Just like myself.

While I thought my first weekend away from my little one would have been a little more self absorbed and a little less ministerial, I can say the "sacrifice" was well worth it. I promise I'm not bragging on myself or my amazing servant-ness. But for me this weekend away may have ranked higher than any trip to the spa. We played. We learned. We laughed. We worshipped. We danced. God showed up. And some of the scars that the busyness of life covers began to heal. And I am so grateful.

The Beautiful Life Indeed...

2012-01-25T10:30:00.000-08:00

My brother released a new EP yesterday. It is phenomenal. I promise. Even when I listen with my musical ears and not my sisterly ears, it is SO good. "The Beautiful Life" is my favorite song. Not just because it talks about my son's beautiful blue eyes, but because it is a "feel good" song with so much truth. I think it partially describes where I was coming from in my word choice for the year. Go check out his EP on itunes. You won't be sorry.

Today's Milestone...

2012-01-16T14:19:00.000-08:00

January has sprung.

2012-01-06T14:56:00.000-08:00

It's January. I think. All I know is that it felt like Spring outside today. Last Spring, I might have been a worried mama and rarely played outside with my newborn. So today, instead of hibernating, we played outside....

In our Jayhawk gear...

We played with blocks...

We read books...

We had our bottles...

It was a wonderful time...

But when he fell on his face, he got sad.

So I took him inside, put him in his bed, and he is currently taking a fabulous nap. I think springtime should always come after Christmas!

In with the new...

2012-01-02T15:19:00.000-08:00

Last year I started what I hoped would become a yearly tradition by choosing one little word to focus on for the year. I loved my pick and even after a year of perking up every time I heard the word, memorizing scripture about it, and occasionally delving into some intense study on it, I still feel like I will never fully know the rich meaning of the word "hope". Especially as it pertains to Christ. But it's a new year and that means a new word...

I've been praying that God would give me a word that He wants me to focus on. I've been listening intently for words that get me excited and feel like they apply to me. And after making a long list of words filled with potential, only one continued to stand out...

Maybe it stood out because it's another Christmas-y word... Or maybe it's because I've been so happy lately I've started pinching myself on a regular basis to make sure I'm not dreaming. Or perharps it's because I get to look at a sweet little face filled with pure joy every day. Either way, I choose joy. My hope this year is to be intentional with my word. I hope to study it and learn more about it and practice it daily.

When I chose my word last year, I was filled with hope. Hope that 2011 would be different. Hope that Nate and I would learn how to love each other more. Hope that something better was in our future. And that "something better" showed up. It showed it up in being blessed with a career that Nate loves. It showed up in an 8 lb 7 oz baby boy. It showed up in our prayers and our worship. It gave us great joy. Not just happiness; joy.

I'm excited to learn about this one little word. I'm excited to practice it on days that suck (because they are inevitable). I'm excited to figure out what it means to include God in the happiest of moments when I'm tempted to think I don't need Him. I'm excited to study God's word and find out what He has to say about joy. And as I grow in knowledge and understanding, maybe I will be able to put better words to what I'm witnessing these days.

Pure Joy.

Out with the Old...

2012-01-01T22:10:00.000-08:00

Today was the first day of 2012. That's odd to say. I paid a bunch of bills this afternoon and wrote the date wrong on all of my checks. It's probably because my hand has been writing ../../11 for so long, but it also might be because I was secretly very sad to say goodbye to 2011. It was a wonderful year. I might even say it was the best year yet.

This time last year, everyone else was making their resolutions to lose 30 lbs and I (along with my fetus) was still savoring sweet and delicious treats on a regular basis.

In February, I took a 30% stressful and 70% amazingly wonderful relaxing vacay with my mom, sister, and nephew.

In March, I was showered with all kinds of wonderful baby gifts...

And a new kitchen...

But April is what changed everything...

We had a few rough months of not sleeping and acid reflux...

But even then, we got to see little glimpses of Elijah's happy personality...

Nate has proven time and time again that he is the best dad in the world. He made me roll-on-the-floor laugh more times than I could count in 2011. I love him.

In the Fall, Elijah celebrated his first Halloween.

Then Thanksgiving...

And most recently, Christmas!

I loved 2011. I can't imagine life could get any better. We are blessed with two wonderful families, friendships that have endured and thrived, a church that we love, and a precious little boy. The list doesn't end there... so bring on another year. May you cherish each and every joy filled minute.

6th Grade Girls Super Fun Party!

2011-12-08T17:58:00.001-08:00

Last Friday night, I got to have a slumber party with my sixth grade small group from YouthCrossing at Fenton. It was a wonderful night filled with laughter, craziness, and a just a enough mischief.

We started the night serving our community by bringing some Christmas joy to an assisted living center in Fenton. A lot of our girls play in their bands at school, so they brought their instruments and with a little bit of practice, put on a beautiful 3 song concert for our new friends!

We also sang a few Christmas songs. We thought they were looking at us... but after reviewing the pictures, they may have just been watching Wheel of Fortune.

After we shared our music, we decorated Christmas tree ornaments with the residents.

We also decorated Christmas cookies! The girls did such a great job helping their new friends. They jumped right in with zero hesitation. I was quite impressed!

Once we finished at the assisted living center, we took our hungry girls to Culver's for some dinner. When they were done eating, we rolled out this giant poster for the girls to decorate for their Youth Pastor. We (sneakily) hung this on his apartment door. We also may have colored on his windows, but I will never admit to it. Never.

We finished the night off with a slumber party at our lovely leader, Marsha's, house. Marsha was SO generous to have such a rambunctious, spill prone crowd. But they're awfully pretty aren't they?

Elijah goes to Maui...

2011-12-05T11:32:00.001-08:00

It's hard to believe that it was just over a week ago that we were on the beautiful island of Maui with our tight knit group of 26 family members. It was a wonderful trip filled with so many memories. Elijah is a lucky little guy. He has now "swam" in the Atlantic and the Pacific ocean. He was at the perfect baby age for this trip. He's not quite mobile yet, but his personality is blossoming like you would not believe. There were days that I hardly saw him while we were in Hawaii. So many loving arms were there to take him... which gave Nate and I some much needed time together. Here are a few snapshots of our trip...

Haleakalà is a dormant volcano on the island and if you get there early enough to catch the sunrise (as we did), you can watch rising slowly over a large cloud-filled crater in the east and the vast, beautiful ocean in the west. It was an (early) beautiful morning!

Lijah also loved playing on the beach and in the pool....

The back float was his favorite... I think he wanted to take a nap in that pool with the sun on his face.

These are my sister's kids: Oliver and Maci. I love them with all my heart. And they love each other. And Elijah too. Sweet babies.

Hope and Christmas

2011-11-13T19:17:00.001-08:00

My husband and I have been having the same argument over and over the last couple of days. It's not even an argument really.... Just a discussion. It's actually a much larger "discussion" among many. Is it time for Christmas music or not? It's not quite Thanksgiving yet, but Halloween is long gone and they're playing it in stores and malls and elevators, but should Christmas music be in my home yet? If you know me at all, you know that I'm a little bit of a holiday fanatic and that means my Christmas listening starts the day after Halloween. It may also be true that if I'm having a particularly rough go at the season of Autumn, it will start a little earlier. Nate, however, is a strictly post Thanksgiving Christmas listener. So we've been having this "discussion" quite often. The good news is, it's about to end. Because Christmas is coming! The season of perpetual hope. I keep thinking to myself... "I cannot WAIT to introduce Elijah to Christmas". Can you imagine? Christmas is still quite magical for me, but for a little boy?! The magic meter is soaring! Sure, he's just a baby and he won't exactly know how to rip into his presents or help decorate the tree or even recognize that beautiful smell of pine needles. But by golly, I will sing to that little boy. I will sing to him about Christmas trees and Santa Claus and snow and reindeer. I will sing to him about Jesus. I will tell him of the hope that Christ brought when he was born. Hope for redemption and grace and life abundantly. I will tell him how it reminds me of the hope Elijah brought when he was born. Hope of new life, a new story, a new beginning. I will show my son the twinkling strands of light on the tree and tell him how God is light and we must follow Him. I will pray that Elijah grows to understand that Christmas is much more than new toys and cookies and adorable pajamas. Christmas reminds us of the hope of our Savior. Hope that God is not finished with us yet, but that at this very moment He is moving and molding and guiding and fulfilling and loving us. That's one thing I'm learning about hope. Part of why I chose "hope" as my word of the year was because I was unhappy with my circumstances. I kept hoping and praying and asking boldly for more. And God blessed us. And He is still blessing us. But sometimes I find myself hoping and waiting and I end up missing the fact that God is indeed at work in my life. So when you hope and ask and pray... pay close attention. I'm excited to teach Elijah about Hope as he grows up. And apparently, I'm quite anxious to begin these lessons. So maybe I'm jumping the gun a little. And there is definitely nothing holy about a poor kid being traumatized after seeing his mom making out with Santa Claus. I also pray he never hears that song about shoes. But Joy to the World? Oh Holy Night? Come Let Us Adore Him? Oh yeah. I can sing that to an angry baby. It's going to be a great season of Advent. I'm excited to sing Christmas songs to my precious child and watch him with joy as he experiences his very first glimpses of this season of Hope.

Elijah and the pumpkins.

2011-11-01T12:01:00.000-07:00

We took Elijah to the pumpkin patch yesterday in honor of Halloween. It was a beautiful day filled with all sorts of Fall fun!

Happy Fall!
From the cutest kid in overalls.

Tweets from Game 6

2011-10-28T18:51:00.001-07:00

Last night, Nate and I got to go to the Cardinals game! I found some cheap(er) tickets on stubhub and planned on surprising Nate and stealing him from work on Wednesday, but the game was postponed and we still had a sitter so I took him to dinner and showed him our tickets. I wanted him to share my disappointment. And I thought he might want to share my anticipation for the next day! But mostly, I was tired of trying to keep my mouth shut. Enter Thursday night... Most epic game I have ever experienced. I think most people would say that. Even if they weren't there. It was exciting and depressing and anxiety provoking and completely thrilling! We had no cell phone service and for about 8 innings, I was pretty sad.... So I decided to tweet a bunch of things. However, the 40,000 people around me took all my service... But never fear! I kept track of them.

So for your entertainment, here are my tweets from last night...
-I really need to invest in a downtown parking lot.
-Someone needs to remind me that there's a jumbotron behind me. I keep thinking people are staring at me.
-My seats are directly behind Lance Berkman!!!
-I wish the guy that walked around with hot chocolate took credit cards.
-I'm not so great with the towel spinning. I feel like my hips need to be involved.
-Nate and I just practiced kissing for the kiss cam. #justincase
-Lance Berkman just hit a 2 run homer! #cardinalcrush
-I can't even send a text message. #lame
-The guy next to me has 48 emails. He should read those. #closequarters
-The drama in the stands is way better than the game right now. #emotionsrunhigh
-It is really cold.
-Ballpark Hot dog. Totally worth it.
-I think the ranger fan in front of me has gas.
-I never realized how much a depend on the announcers to know what's actually going on.
-The cardinals ability to play well does not depend on how I feel.
-I think David freese might be my new cardinal crush.
-Nope. It's back to lance berkman...
-Its like I've got 40,000 best friends! #strangerhugs
-Nate is on the ground. He can't get up. I'd be worried but I'm busy cheering with everyone else. Cards tie it up with one strike left!!!
-It's too bad that the ranger fan in front of me (although gassy) is really nice. #itseasiertobeatmeanfans
-30 second cardinal victory makeout session. #wewerethatcouple

A tweet can't describe it. 20 tweets can't describe it. Amazing. Amazing. Amazing. So glad the man below turned me on to baseball!

A Really Good Day

2011-10-22T23:21:00.000-07:00

I had a really good day. Do you ever have those? I find that my good days are few and far between lately. Not because I'm not completely blessed with a wonderful life, but because I'm busy. Or I'm jealous. Or I'm analyzing. Or I'm strategizing. Or I'm worrying. But today, I wasn't plagued by any of those things. And it was just a really good day. I spent the vast majority of it driving with my aunt through teeny tiny towns in Kansas looking through stores filled with really old things. Things that have stories I'm sure. I spent a lot of time praying that these small towns would never die. But also that they would never thrive to the point that they lose their simplicity. I spent the other vast majority of today dreaming about the stories my things will have. Yes they are just things. But things come with stories and sentiment. I hope that my things matter to someone else one day. Maybe for a different reason than my love of something. But a reason that matters nonetheless. Am I taking it too far to say that there's a redemptive quality in old "stuff"? Someone's old window is now a beautiful piece of art. The archway of what used to be the hippest church in town is now a mirror that a little girl watches herself grow up in. The oak chairs that no one cared to fix can now occupy a dining room table where many meals will be shared by friends and family. Old, dusty, used, nothings turned into something beautiful because someone saw a tiny speck of promise. I hope someone sees promise in me. Even if it is just a speck. I hope someone looks beyond the old, used, nothing that I am. Picks me out from behind the rest and says "Yes! I'll take her! Whatever the cost. I want her! She's going to be beautiful. She'll fit perfectly." On some level, I find myself seeking this all the time from people. Want me. Save me a spot. Fight for me. Pick me! But as I say these things out loud, I recognize the truth. This is my story already. Sure I'm still searching for "my calling" (whatever that means) and I really wish someone would look me in the eye and tell me all about the great things I could be capable of... But the truth is. He picked me. He wanted me. No matter the cost. And the cost was death... After a painful, humanity-surrounded life on earth.

So yes, maybe I did take it a little too far. Maybe it was just a pleasant day where my son behaved and I came home with a couple of cute items. Or maybe God wanted to show me that He so badly wants to know me and for me to know Him that He would show up in a couple of Antique stores to find me. Whatever the case. I'm grateful. And I want to stop and remember this day of happy memories. And holy moments.

"The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full." (John 10:10)

Thank you, Jesus. For redemption. For wanting me. Used, dirty, and broken. Thank you for wanting me anyway. Please continue making me into something, someone who reflects your love, your beauty and your life-giving redemption. Thank you for simplicity. Thank you for pursuing me.

Memory Verse

2011-10-12T20:10:00.001-07:00

Elijah and his cousin

2011-10-03T14:31:00.000-07:00

One of the things I was really excited about when we found out we were pregnant was the fact that Elijah was going to have a cousin to play with. On my dad's side of the family, we each have a cousin to play with and while we all get along, Kayla has always been designated cousin. I love it. And I have officially designated Oliver as Elijah's favorite cousin (on my side of the family). And they sure love each other.

Pretty soon (as in just days away), Elijah will be getting another cousin! We can't wait to meet Maci Lou, especially because Elijah will now have TWO favorite cousins (on my side). Since Maci Lou will NOT be getting a cousin any time soon, Elijah's designated cousins will soon be Oliver AND Maci. What a lucky little boy! Here's their first picture together...

September.

2011-09-26T11:13:00.000-07:00

I realize that I've been slacking in the blogging arena lately, but for me getting to sit down and write out my thoughts is a luxury these days so my public blog isn't usually the first place I go to do that... Be grateful. This time last year, I was pregnant, job hunting, and extremely emotional. This time this year, I'm a mother of two - one dog, one baby. I'm loving every chance I get to make my home a warmer, prettier place, and a singer/songwriter destined for greatness. It has been a crazy month! We quickly transitioned from summer to fall in just a few short days. I'm still not convinced that summer is fully gone, but the temperature is proving otherwise. Elijah is now five months old and I am slowly but surely figuring out this motherhood thing. This month a lot has happened, but here are the highlights...

-We spent a wonderful labor day weekend at the lake with our Thursday night tv group.
-We spent about half of the month with a screaming, angry child.
-We discovered that Elijah has acid reflux and started him on some baby zantac. It worked in about a week! Praise God!!
-I became a baseball fan again. I realized it when I ran into Lance Berkman on a lunch date at Brio with my mom. I also think I might have a crush on him. Don't tell Nate.
-Elijah discovered his lips. He loves them.
-I took Nate on a date to see this movie. My choice. It was a big step for me.
-I quit caffeine.
-Our country marked the 10th anniversary of September 11, 2001.
-We watched Stepbrothers.
-I watched this commercial way too many times. And cried at it. A lot.
-Nate started a new position at his company. He'll be working on the business side of things as opposed to engineering for 6 months. It's a little higher stress, but we're excited!
-We took a fabulous trip to Denver to help my very pregnant sister get ready to birth me a niece!
-I'm officially on a record label with a pretty fabulous distributor.
-I finally got to see Bridesmaids!
-Elijah is working on his sitting up skills. He is also starting to inch. Not quite crawl. But inch.

It has been a great month. Bring it on, October.

Lake Season 2011

2011-09-11T13:05:00.000-07:00

It has been a fabulous lake season. We started it with a trip down memorial day weekend with my parents and some family friends. And ended it last weekend (labor day weekend) with a bunch of our favorite people. It was VERY different having a little guy to watch out for this year and I'm sure it will just keep changing for us, but we are excited that we are already making lake memories with Elijah. It was a wonderful season. Our little family is so blessed!

We have had so many adventures!

We took a LOT of lake naps...

On our anniversary weekend, Nate and I were able to take Elijah for a long walk through the park that we got married in.

We did/ watched a lot of impressive water sports.

We found a great spot for cliff jumping...

My favorite part about all of it was getting to spend so much time with our family and friends...

Until next year!

Then the letting go began...

2011-09-01T20:37:00.000-07:00

Elijah is growing up. He has been a little monster the past three weeks. And it's taken me that long to realize that he's ready to stop being treated like a newborn. We used to take naps like this every morning...

It was kind of unfair really. Put the little newborn on their tummy next to your heartbeat and he's out like a light. I knew it wouldn't last forever and that at some point he was going to have to learn how to fall asleep on his own, but I loved it. Snuggly babies are the best. And babies who take good naps are even better!

Eventually, Elijah got too long to sleep on me and gradually that snuggle time ended. So I relied on the burrito/pacifier combo (that's a technical term, not an order at taco bell). He still needed me to be close until he fell asleep and then he needed his space... which is good because I could actually get things done. Then when Elijah hit four months, my techniques stopped working. He didn't need to be burrito'd and he didn't need to be rocked, but he didn't want to be left alone so we were kind of stuck in limbo. As a mom, the toughest part for me so far has been not knowing what my child needs or wants. And then realizing that those things are actually different and I have to be the mommy and give him what he needs over what he wants. So today we started Ferberizing. Save your comments, I've done my research, checked with the doctor, and talked to plenty of other mommies. I might have cheated a little bit (if you can call it cheating), but eventually this is what ended up with...

Today we got two - two hour naps! This hasn't happened in a very long time. I almost didn't know what to do with myself. Almost. Anyway, the point is that even at the ripe old age of (almost) 5 months, Elijah is becoming an independent person. He is growing up. And sometimes to help our kids grow up, we have to do tough things. We have to let them cry. It's torture. But they learn. I'm guessing I'll be learning this lesson over and over in the marvelous journey of parenthood. Here's to many more really great naps and helping our kids grow into independent, successful people.

Memory Verse.

2011-08-29T09:59:00.001-07:00

Things to look forward to.

2011-08-23T14:57:00.001-07:00

I love having things to look forward to. I love having things planned in advance so I can anticipate them. Don't get me wrong, I am a big fan of spontaneity. On a bad day though, I can always use some hope for a better tomorrow. So here's what I have to be excited about in the coming months...

-Tonight was a big night for YouthCrossing Fenton! I'm excited for it to lead to many other big nights where students take steps in their relationships with Jesus.

-I am getting my haircut tomorrow. It's been almost 6 months.

-We are taking our final summer trip here with some friends over labor day.

-The Biggest Loser and other great TV shows are coming back soon!

-My sister is going to give me a niece some time in October! After four nephews, I am excited to buy a dress!

-I am doing... uh running.... uh... participating in this with some of my favorite people.

-I am training to run this with my BFF.

-We are going here to watch these guys play in this tournament over Thanksgiving. I think of this one daily. Maybe even hourly.

I guess it runs in the family...

2011-08-22T11:36:00.000-07:00

Our family is growing again! Well.. not OUR family. But our extended family. (Weird that my siblings are extended family). Anyway, We are getting a new sister [in law]! That's right... little Bretty is getting married! We are beyond excited for many reasons. Ellie is great. She is adventurous and sweet and passionate. Perfect to carry the Allen family name! We are also excited because the Allen kids are now 3 for 3 (or 100%) on marrying their high school sweethearts. That means all of my siblings (including the inlaws) went to Westminster Christian Academy.

Nicole and Hunter began dating their senior year of high school (2003). We knew it was a big deal when Nicole invited him to our cousin's wedding.

They were married July 21, 2007.

They now have a one year old (Oliver) and a baby girl (Maci Lou) on the way!

Nate and I started dating in 2004. We were just little juniors in high school. His locker was right next to mine. It was a love story just waiting to happen.

We were married on July 4, 2009.

And in case you missed it. We now have a beautiful little 4 month old (Elijah Skye).

And now it's Brett's turn. He and Ellie started dating in 2008.

On Friday of last week, Brett asked her to marry him.

It is crazy that our little family of five has gone from this....

To this...

My youth pastor used to tell us how unlikely it is for people to marry a boyfriend or girlfriend from high school. I guess the Allens have defied the odds.

So now, we have all found our spouses. Growing up is so fun.

Elijah's first solids.

2011-08-17T08:57:00.000-07:00

Elijah tried his first "solid" food yesterday! It was kind of exciting.

At first... he wasn't a fan.

He just didn't know what to do with the spoon. Or the food.

But by the end, I think he was pretty pleased with himself.

Yep... Happy as can be for a 4 month old.

Here's the video of his actual first bites. 2 things: that is not my dog barking and I'm not talking to myself. Nate is filming. He's just better at being quiet than me.

The Kids...

2011-08-16T15:05:00.000-07:00

So long, old friend.

2011-08-15T19:52:00.000-07:00

So last week I lost my phone... Well not exactly. I plugged my really outdated iphone into my really outdated computer and they both SLOWLY battled each other. My computer won. And my phone was left with a sad, unchangeable screen that said "connect to itunes". There was nothing Itunes could do. Then there was nothing the guy with the glasses at the apple store could do. And that was that. My phone had used its last life. I dropped that phone countless times... on concrete, in mud, in the pedicure bath at the spa, even in the lake and it survived. Then I went to treat it right... I wanted to update it and back it up (it had been a LONG time since I had done this) and that's what killed it. Unfortunate. I had lost lots of iphone photos, gobs of notes to myself, 3 years of meticulous calendar usage. I lost all of the rough drafts of songs that I had written over the last year. Songs that meant so much to me in their raw form. Songs that I remember sitting at the piano crying and praying over... just me and the piano. I lost all of the sweet text messages I received when I was in labor and when Elijah was born. Sad.

I heard myself explaining to people what happened and saying things like "I lost everything" and "I feel so disoriented"... Disoriented, yes... naturally. But I lost everything? I am so dramatic sometimes. I didn't lose everything. I didn't lose much of anything really. It just felt that way. Any time something big happened to me, my phone was there. I remember getting some very disappointing news one day and texting my husband immediately. I remember walking through the park where Nate and I got married two years ago being on cloud 9 and texting my parents and thanking them for the wonderful day of my wedding. My phone was there for highs and lows, but it has no life. It's just a phone. Sure I share my life with others through it and it makes things a little easier and more organized, but it's nothing more than that. I could go on to say that many Americans are very much addicted to their phones and need to take a break, but that's not where I'm going.

There's pastor of a small church in a small town in Kansas who actually did lose everything when his house burned to the ground a few years ago. Well everything, but his family and a couple of melted coins he found among the rubble. He had collected coins for most of his life. So obviously, it had a lot of sentimental (as well as monetary) value. And after losing all of his material belongings, he said that losing his coin collection was one of the bigger disappointments. A couple years after the fire, Pastor Andy spoke about his disappointment and said simply "it's just stuff... never forget... its just stuff". He gave many of the people in the congregation a melted coin from what was his coin collection as a reminder that their stuff is just that... stuff.

So here I am... sad about my iphone. Yes it had lots of memories, but I'm kind of a memory hoarder anyway. What I need to remember is that it's just stuff.

"We all come to the end of our lives as naked and empty-handed as on the day we were born. We can't take our riches with us."

Ecclesiastes 5:15

Memory Verse.

2011-08-05T13:39:00.001-07:00

...being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will
carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.
--Philippians 1:6

And the training begins!

2011-08-01T15:27:00.001-07:00

Today begins my "official" half marathon training and I am SO
excited! This will be #8 for me. I trained for number 7 during the
very early weeks of my pregnancy and when spring rolled around, I got
the itch... Bad. The only thing is that I was hugely pregnant so my
attempts to run were very waddle-like and eventually I took up
walking. It almost killed me, but built up plenty of motivation. I am
now 3.5 months post partum and am just barely beginning to get my legs
back. It doesn't help that I still have a bunch of extra baby weight,
but I'm hoping the running will help that. It's weird that the first
day of training doesn't actually call for a run, but I had a lovely 4
mile run on the boardwalk with Nate's sisters last night, so that
should hold me over until tomorrow. Weird that I am this excited.
But "me" time and time with friends have been few and far between so I
love running for different reasons than I used to... Not only do I get
to do something active that I love, but I get a break from mommyhood!
Here's to a great fall training season!

http://www.halhigdon.com/halfmarathon/inter.htm

Ocean City Here We Come!!

2011-07-29T11:01:00.001-07:00

Tonight, we are headed to Maryland for a few days... It is high time the extended Auckers met my son! We'll be in Baltimore for a little bit and then road trip to Ocean City. I can't wait! I've never been, but Nate spent many vacations there when he lived in Baltimore as a kid. He is excited to relive his memories and start making his own with his little boy. It looks like the weather is going to be perfect for Elijah's very first trip to the ocean! (pronounced [ay-shun])

Text History...

2011-07-27T11:15:00.000-07:00

This is the conversation Nate and I have been having today via text...

Nate: Only money is holding up the Colby deal.
Me: I finally trimmed that baby's nails. He's so sweet. And I officially boxed his newborn clothes. :(
Nate: Colby to Toronto done deal.

Communication at its finest.
Also... your cardinal news for today. You're welcome.

I quit.

2011-07-25T12:48:00.000-07:00

So... this project 365 thing... You may not have noticed, but it has now been 5 weeks since I have posted any pictures... oops. We were at the lake, I was trying to get some writing done, continue getting my house in order (it really doesn't ever end), take care of the dog, the baby, train to start training for a half marathon, and take up gardening all at once. I took a LOT of pictures... but on average it takes me way longer than I would ever admit to get those pictures downloaded, edited, uploaded, and captioned. So I've got a lot of pictures to go through... And I love it... but I'm quitting project 365. It was a hefty undertaking. And I lasted a little less than 6 months. The good news is, I learned a lot. I want to preface this by saying, you have no need to listen to anything I say. I'm not telling you these things because I think you need to learn them. I'm telling you them because I have been on a journey the past six months and I want to share that journey with you. Really, that's what this now non-agenda'd blog is all about.

Here's what project 365 has taught me...
-Don't be afraid to take pictures. When something exciting is happening and you want to mark that moment, don't be afraid to stop and attempt to capture the moment. Sometimes this requires asking your friends to set their drinks down and smile. Sometimes it requires sneaking away and trying to capture what's actually going on. Sometimes it means you go off by yourself and take terrible pictures of the most amazing sunset you've ever seen just so you can remember the day.
-Don't be afraid to not take pictures. One of the things I struggled with during my project was always feeling like I needed to catch things on my camera. Like Elijah's first smile. Or the best part of a night out with friends. What I found was that some things are made to be captured on film. Others are made to be etched in our memories. This is not news to anyone. Unplug. Put the camera down. Take joy in life.
-Ask Questions. I am a blessed girl. "Elijah" was given a very nice digital SLR this past Christmas and I had absolutely no clue how to use it. I still don't. That thing is a huge puzzle that I am slowly attempting to piece together. I admire people who understand how shutter speed and lighting and different varieties of lenses work. That is not my gift. But I love hearing people talk about it and trying to keep up with what they're saying. I ask a lot of dumb questions. But I learn a ton too.
-Don't forget your camera. I typically have my camera with me everywhere I go. Sometimes I hate lugging it around, but the times that I have chosen to leave it at home, I always tend to see something amazing that would have been a perfect picture. But no, I had to be lazy that day. When in doubt, bring it along.
-Let yourself worship. This is the best part. For some reason, seeing God's creation through a different lens gives me a sense of hope and satisfaction like none other. I see Jesus when I look through the camera and see my husband giggling with his son. I find peace getting a close up of a flower. Maybe it's because you can only see little glimpses of what's going on when you're looking through a camera. Maybe it's because you can't see the people around you. I couldn't tell you what it is, but it is so good to worship in this way.
-Live with your pictures. I read this on a blog somewhere and it is SO true. There's not much better than a printed, tangible picture. Print the pictures that mean a lot to you. Frame them. Put them in a book. Do something other than store them on facebook and iphoto. Live with your pictures.

That's about it for now. I am excited to show you pictures from the last 5 weeks. I am also excited that I can blog about whatever I want again... After all, it is my blog. And sometimes if we're honest, calling it quits is for the better.

Ephesians 6:14-15

2011-07-17T11:35:00.001-07:00

Memory Verse...
Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist,
with the breastplate of righteousness in place, and with your feet
fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. --
Ephesians 6:14-15

A Hope Quote

2011-07-12T21:49:00.001-07:00

Project 365 - Week 21

2011-06-20T21:06:00.000-07:00

This week.... I sang at church and our baptism celebration. We celebrated Nate's first Father's Day and my half birthday and that was all just on Sunday. It was a crazy week. But it was a great one. Filled with smiles and coos from our sweet little boy. These pictures are from Monday, June 13 - Sunday June 19, 2011.

Monday, June 13 - Cute outfit of the week goes to this one. AND the first night he wore it, he slept through the night!

Tuesday, June 14 - You may not be able to see, but Elijah gave himself a big scratch on his nose. It was sad, but looked pretty BA for a baby...

Wednesday, June 15 - Just chillin'... He might be the cutest kid ever.

Thursday, June 16 - You have no idea how difficult it was to make this happen. We've got a pretty hardcore sleep fighter on our hands...

Friday, June 17 - We celebrated this beautiful girl's graduation! I've known her since she was about 3 years old... She has grown up beautifully and I can't wait to see what's next!

Saturday, June 18 - Impeccable timing. Just before the spit-up hit his adorable outfit. I didn't catch it before it ruined his shirt, but I did get a picture...

Sunday, June 19 - Baptism Sunday! Over 300 people went public with their faith. It is one of my favorite days of the year. And this year (believe it or not), felt reasonably cool compared to years past.

That Sweet Smile.

2011-06-18T16:11:00.000-07:00

I think Elijah really genuinely tries to smile at me when I ask him to. See?

Really? You want me to smile some more?

Thinking about it...

Working on it... [for the record, this one is my favorite]

Trying not to...

Halfway there...

3/4ths

There you go, Mom...

Oh wait... you want bigger?

And bigger?

And how about a little giggle?

Yep. He works hard for his mommy. It also doesn't hurt that he loves the sound of the camera click.

Things I'm learning...

2011-06-17T19:37:00.000-07:00

Holy cow am I ever learning so much. I'm so grateful to be growing and changing as my life and family grows and changes. Here's the list...

-Babies cry, eat, poop, and sleep A LOT. I knew this. But knowing it first hand is way different.

-Babies also bring healing and so much hope.

-I really wish kindness and good social skills were second nature to me. Because when I'm sleep deprived (which is still all the time), second nature is about all I'm good for.

-I am a part of something uncommon. God is at work in my church. But He is also at work in me. He is up to something and He has a plan for my life.

-I think blogging is a dangerous form of communication. I'm saying one thing. You're reading it in an entirely different light. You think you're being funny or intelligent. I think you're being hurtful. But I take things personally so I guess that's just me. It's not always this way. But I wonder what Godly blogging and social networking in general looks like.

-Edamame is way better than sunchips.

-Urban Outfitters is not all that conducive to strollers. Maybe it's time for some mom jeans.

-Running after giving birth is really tough. Even if you ran a half marathon pregnant.

-Neighbors are gifts from God.

-I like watching Cardinals games on TV. That's right. I said it.

-Forgiveness is difficult. And it's not quite fair. I guess that's the point.

-I think I want to be a rockstar.

-Music snobs are mean.

-I like having things to look forward to.

-I need to memorize more scripture.

This time two months ago...

2011-06-15T19:07:00.001-07:00

Disclaimer: This is a fairly detailed account of giving birth to Elijah. It's more for me than you. I don't think it's graphic, but I've been in the childbirth and baby world for far too long to really have a good radar on that... So good luck and don't say I didn't warn you.

This time two months ago....

I had been trying to walk the baby out for days. Not because I was terribly uncomfortable (although I was definitely rotunda nofunda) but because I couldn't wait to meet the being that had been kicking and punching and hiccuping inside of me for months. So that morning, I took a long walk with a couple of girlfriends, ate a turkey sandwich, took a nap and when I woke up, my water broke. 4:20 p.m. I called Nate at work and forgot to use our code word (mistletoe). All I said was that I was pretty sure my water broke and that he needed to hurry home. Then I called my mom who was at the lake. Then I called my sister. Then I called the doctor and told her how afraid I was. Nate took an hour to get home from work so for about 40 minutes I was packing frantically trying not think about the fact that my baby would be here in 24 hours or less and that at the very moment, I was all alone. I remember taking a moment and thanking God that I was finally going to get the whole labor and delivery thing over with. And then praying over and over that my baby would arrive safely. My dad called and prayed with me too.

FINALLY, Nate got home (he was stuck in dumb traffic). I was standing there with my bag, his bag and our carseat. I remember I packed him a toothbrush, a pair of jeans, a pair of boxers and like 10 t-shirts. Did I mention I was a little panicked? Anyway, we took my route to the hospital and made it their in no time at all. And since I wasn't having any contractions yet, I didn't feel like yelling at Nate while we were driving (which is always what I pictured). When we arrived, they evaluated me to make sure my water had indeed broken (it had) and moved me into a labor and delivery room. Nate's parents came and brought him dinner and me a cup of the good ice they have at chick-fil-a. Then the doctors started pumping me full of pitocin since I wasn't going into labor on my own. I remember my nurse was 35 weeks pregnant and I felt bad that she was going to have to pull an all-nighter with me, but wouldn't get her own baby just yet. My friends Randall and Emily stopped in and I begged Emily to stay and help me give birth since my sister wasn't going to make it out of Denver in time. Around 11:30 p.m., my mom rolled in from the lake and my birthing team was ready to go.

The nurses kept asking me when I wanted my epidural. Not that they were pushing me to get it, but I think the anesthesiologist wanted to go home. I kept asking if I was any further dilated, but they wanted to check me as little as possible because the likelihood of infection is much higher when your water breaks. So they decided not to check me until after I got the epidural and said to let them know when I was uncomfortable and they would order it for me. So as the contractions got stronger, I became "uncomfortable" and decided it was time. I did it all wrong. I was trying not to throw up before the guy even came into the room. I informed him that I watched way too many birthing tv shows and that I was terrified. He told me to hold still, my whole body winced. He told me not to jump, I almost flung myself off the bed. But finally, I was relieved of the "uncomfortable" pain I was feeling and was able to get some rest. Actually I laid awake all night. Praying that my baby would be safe and that I would be a good mommy and that the beautiful miracle of birth wouldn't freak Nate out too much. I also watched Seinfeld. I hate Seinfeld, but it was the only thing that was on.

Around 6:00 a.m., they checked me again and I was 9.5 centimeters dilated. I was told that my doctor (who had given birth to triplets five months prior) needed to feed her three babies and then be on her way and that I would start pushing at 8:00 a.m. The rest is kind of a blur. At that point I was so tired from being up all night, I wasn't sure I would have the energy to sit up much less push a baby out. But then they gave me the last red jello from the hospital's fridge. And about twenty minutes later, I gave it back. I had eaten it way too fast. But it kind of brought the pregnancy full circle. My last time pregnant puking.

Sure enough, 8:00 a.m. arrived and I started pushing. This was definitely a blur. And all I wanted to do was sleep between contractions. So I did.

But then after an hour of pushing and a few other routine procedures, the nurse to my left hit me on the shoulder and said "open your eyes! open your eyes!" I opened my eyes and I saw my baby boy. They placed him in my arms and I was overwhelmed to say the least. I didn't know what to do or feel or think. He was kind of purple and they told me that the umbilical cord was wrapped around his neck two times. And for some reason, that is when it hit me. He was here. He was real. And he was mine.

So now two months later he is fussy and poopy and rarely sleeps when I want him to. But he smiles and coos and even laughs at me. When he arrived, it was magical. I can't explain and I don't think I should even try, but I will remember the details of that miraculous experience we were given.

I love you, Elijah. You were an answer to so many of my questions and prayers. Thank you for changing my life and making it more amazing than I could have ever imagined. In just two months.

Project 365 - Week 20

2011-06-13T14:12:00.001-07:00

This week was mostly spent at home. It was lovely. It's amazing what you can actually get done on a weekend when you're not out of town! Anyway... These pictures are from Monday, June 6 through Sunday, June 12.

Monday, June 6 - It was HOT! We felt bad just sending Summer outside to sit in the heat all day, so I bought her this pool for $10 at walmart. She loves it. And it helps my guilt. A+ for all.

Tuesday, June 7 - Elijah's first date with Aubin. I'm sure it will be love at first sight for both of them. But they both slept the whole time, so we'll have to try again. Elijah has so many friends! I love it.

Wednesday, June 8 - Yep. That's a social smile. Just for mommy. We started getting a lot more of them this week. And my heart melts every time.

Thursday, June 9 - Another wickedly HOT day. So we went swimming! And we found a frog in the pool. We named him Sticky. Unfortunately, Sticky became a victim of curious little boys. May he rest in peace in frog heaven.

Friday, June 10 - Elijah got to go play with his cousins for the morning! It was so fun. I can't wait for him to get a little older and see what it's like with four crazy boys running around.

Saturday, June 11 - 8 weeks old. And time for mommy to finally quit being lazy and move Elijah to his crib. He did great. I stared at the monitor. All night long.

Sunday, June 12 - Elijah in his Sunday best.

20 weeks down, 32 to go. And to think... if I was pregnant, I'd be half way done.

Project 365 - Week 18 & 19

2011-06-07T14:47:00.000-07:00

Well... I'm clearly a slacker. I've actually been taking lots of pictures, but the whole getting them onto the computer thing and uploading them to my blog thing and the typing thing are causing me to slack off. Typing takes two hands and I typically only have one, if any. So we'll see how this project continues... But I do love having pictures from every single day of the last 19 weeks...

The past two weeks...

-We got to spend some time at the lake.

-Our church had a HUGE event. All of us at one service. Totally fun.

-Elijah is growing like a weed! And eating accordingly...

-Nate has been working hard and doing p90x

-I have attempted to return to my running. It is WAY more difficult than I thought to get my legs back. I'm almost discouraged...almost.

These pictures are from Monday, May 23 - Sunday, June 5....

Monday, May 23 - Nate is responsible for this one. He thought it was really funny.

Tuesday, May 24 - Summer has been really funny with the baby. She's rarely interested in him, but every now and then when he's asleep, she likes to lay by him. Like she's guarding his bassinet, bouncer, or swing. She can be the sweetest dog sometimes. And then she'll steal his pacifier.

Wednesday, May 25 - Elijah has a love-hate relationship with his stroller. Here he is loving our family walk.

Thursday, May 26 - The 2011 Cicada Invasion. I'm not a fan.

Friday, May 27 - Elijah's first road trip! Headed to the lake. He LOVES his glow worm. I love it too. It knocks him out.

Saturday, May 28 - Elijah's first... sailboat ride? Yes. We are crazy. Elijah is the little lump sitting on Nate's lap under the towel. He loved it.

Sunday, May 29 - He looked freaking adorable in his water outfit. And really any time we got on the boat he was pretty chill. Except when he was hungry. And it's difficult to snuggle the little guy to calm him down when he's got a giant piece of foam between the two of you. But it's like I always say: Safety first.

Monday, May 30 - We let Summer come to the lake with us this time because we're starting to hate petsmart. She LOVED playing in the water. She jumps off the dock and swims to the steps like a champ. She also loved playing with us on the longboard. But when we all fell off (several times) she would swim on top of us and try to scratch us to death. Nate looked like he got in a fight with wolverine. I just got bruises.

Tuesday, May 31 - Some crazy person let this kid drive while my husband was wakeboarding...

Wednesday, June 1 - Elijah and I spent this day catching up on housework and getting ready to go to Kansas. Nate spent most of the night snuggling with his boy knowing that he wouldn't get to see him for a couple of days.

Thursday, June 2 - Before we headed out of town, Elijah and I went for a lovely walk... He was pretty happy.

Friday, June 3 - We celebrated the life and mourned the death of my cousins' grandma (if that makes sense). Grandma Vi was a wonderful woman and a FABULOUS cook. I remember being a little kid and looking forward to Kansas trips in December because Grandma Vi would make me my very own birthday cake! My sister (a genius really) started telling her that it was her birthday every time we visited... and usually got a cake out of it. But Grandma Vi was more than just a baker... She did what she loved. She did it well. And she did it to serve others. Her life mattered and we miss her. But we celebrate that her chains are gone and she is in a much better place.

Saturday, June 4 - On Friday, I drove all the way home from the farm by myself with Elijah. It was scary... So Nate got to hang with the little guy a lot on Saturday since I was a little overwhelmed. Here's Nate trying to coax out a smile of our 7 week old...

Sunday, June 5 - Singing at the Chafeitz arena. It was amazing! While I know that my serving on Sunday was not about me, I was feeling a little bit like a rockstar with the giant stage in a huge arena. Silly, I know. But then to be reminded that God has been doing enormous, amazing things in our church and community and I get to be a part of it? Well there's nothing more rock star than that.

See you next week... Maybe.

Don't forget...

2011-05-23T20:51:00.001-07:00

It's been almost seven weeks already and not only have I written ZERO thank you notes, but I'm already forgetting Elijah's quirks that I really don't want to forget... So here we go...

-He makes the funniest faces! My most favorite is his zoolander face.

-Nate has been calling him "little unit". And I've been calling him "baby". Poor guy is never going to learn his name.

-His eyes are deep, dark blue.

-I think he's constantly having dreams that I'm dropping him because he gets startled and wakes himself up, the way that I do when I dream I'm falling off a mountain or my plane is crashing.

-His carseat fits in his swing base but when he's really mad he hates swinging in it. However, he really likes when I manually swing him. I've started doing 20 swings on each arm. I'm hoping it helps get rid of my mommy arm flab.

-He makes the sweetest little sighs.

-He farted during church. Loudly. No one noticed. Except that I could not stop laughing.

-I'm determined to be the one he "socially" smiles at first... Unfortunately, so is grandma

-He looks absolutely adorably funny in a lifejacket...

-Being a mom is the best. And parenting with Nate might be the funnest thing we've ever done together.

Project 365 - Week 17

2011-05-23T18:45:00.001-07:00

Another week in the wonderful world of parenting! Elijah spent most of this week being an angry elf, which might have made me a little crabby... But we're both working on it. We wrapped up our Denver trip and spent the next few days recovering. All in all, it was a great week. These pictures are from Monday, May 16 - Sunday, May 22.

Monday, May 16 - While we were in Denver, everyone went fishing all day every day. Except for me. I'm still recovering from childbirth, so I missed out on all the fun. At first I was a little sad, but then I realized, I really don't like touching fish. It also gave me a chance to spend some quality time with whoever was elected to stay home with me and the babies. On Sunday it was my mom. On Monday it was my sister and the little guy pictured above. On Tuesday, it was Brett, Ellie, and Hunter.

Tuesday, May 17 - You would think that someone who takes daily pictures would remember to get a photo of her baby's first flight... You would think... Anyway, this is Elijah's SECOND flight on our way home from Denver.

Wednesday, May 18 - Summer was very excited that Elijah came home from Denver. She missed us. She's been pretty great with the baby. Except for that time she tried to sit on him.

Thursday, May 19 - Our little jayhawk...

Friday, May 20 - My husband looks hot in spandex! He's been riding his bike 20 miles to work at least once a week. What a stud...

Saturday, May 21 - We celebrated my friend Isaac's 6th birthday! I can't believe the kid who made me love kids is already six years old! I also can't believe how much I love little kid's birthday parties.

Sunday, May 22 - My music video hit 100,000 views! It's all those adorable kids...

And Now A Bonus Photo...

Little boys and girls catching magical candy falling from a star wars piñata...

Project 365 - Week 16

2011-05-20T13:14:00.000-07:00

Wow! What a ride... We spent a few days in Denver with my sister and her husband and son to celebrate Oli's First Birthday! I can't believe it's been a year. He is precious. We also spent the week getting used to a new phase in parenthood, which I'm sure will be the story of our lives... for the rest of our lives. These pictures are from Monday May 9 through Sunday, May 15.

Monday, May 9 - Daddy and Elijah hanging out at dinner. They are snuggle buddies.

Tuesday, May 10 - My music video crossed the 50,000 mark on Youtube! Pretty exciting!

Wednesday, May 11 - His face changes every day. I've been trying to take pictures of just his face so I can remember what it was like to watch him grow up. I love that he is cross-eyed. Just like his mom was.

Thursday, May 12 - I can't seem to get enough of him.

Friday, May 13 - Heading to Grandma and Grandpa's house! His first night away from us (or me). He had been away from me for an hour here and there for me to run to walmart or something, but this was our first real "evening with adults".

Saturday, May 14 - Elijah's first trip! Hanging in Denver celebrating Oligator's first year. Doesn't my son look adorable in a birthday hat?

Sunday, May 15 - While we were in Denver, Elijah got to sleep in Oliver's bassinet. Several very special babies have been rocked in this bassinet during their first weeks of life... Including these boys.

I must apologize to my faithful readers for posting this 5 days late... It turns out when I get some time to myself during the week, I tend to eat, sleep, brush my teeth, or shower. Lucky for you, Nate and I are both in town for this entire weekend, so we are getting more done than I could have ever imagined. And guess what, I'm still behind. Oh well... this is my life now. And I love it.

Project 365 - Week 15

2011-05-09T15:02:00.000-07:00

What a week! Life with an infant is amazing.... rarely a dull moment. But we have survived over three weeks of parenthood and have some semblance of a routine. We love our little guy more and more every day. This week, we got to take part in the dedication service at our church. It was a holy moment for us to say the least. We also celebrated my first mother's day. Nate gave me the most beautiful necklace I've ever been given. Have I told you yet what an amazing dad he is? It's humbling. And it's so fun to watch him fall in love with our little guy all over again every day when he gets home from work. AND in order to let me get this post up, he's folding my laundry. What a guy. Anyway, these pictures are from Monday, May 2 through Sunday, May 8 of 2011.

Monday, May 2 - Elijah is getting more and more alert. Not quite enough to understand what "playtime" is, but here is Elijah... having "playtime"

Tuesday, May 3 - Elijah loves to snuggle. I've never been known as the touchy feely type, but snuggly naps with this guy are the best. This is also your formal introduction to my sleep face.

Wednesday, May 4 - This is one of Elijah's favorite blankets. It's sooooo soft.

Thursday, May 5 - My grandma was given a special surprise for mother's day. A new car! (That's actually not a joke). This was the look on her face when she first saw it. And then she said "I just bought a new car this week!" She hadn't. She's ornery like that.

Friday, May 6 - A few of my college roommates drove four hours to spend a few hours with me and the baby and then drove four hours back! They are the best. It was so good to see them. And I'm so glad Elijah got to meet the wonderful girls who made my college experience fun.

Saturday, May 7 - Elijah's dedication! It was very sweet. I normally cry watching this annual event at church. But it when it was our turn I did just fine. Until my father in law started praying over our son. I almost don't want to say it out loud or try to put into words what a holy time it was to have friends and family stand next to us and pray for us and with us.

Sunday, May 8 - My first mother's day! We went to a delicious brunch and then took pictures with the four generations on my dad's side and my mom's side. Elijah is very lucky to have 6 living and healthy great grandparents! (3 on my side and 3 on Nate's)

Next week... We will have a one month old! That is crazy.

Project 365 - Baby Edition!!

2011-05-03T12:06:00.000-07:00

So..... I owe you some pictures. 21 to be exact. And that's what I'm giving you. I decided that instead of going back to three weeks ago and trying to find a picture to match each date, I would just give you a plethora of pictures from the past three weeks. The good news? You get to look at my handsome baby and I get to let myself off the hook. The other good news is that I've started taking daily pictures again which means next week should be back to normal... So these pictures happen anywhere from Monday, April 11 to Sunday, May 1.

My water broke on Friday, April 15. It felt like a movie, but that's for another blog post. This picture was in my labor and delivery room post water break, pre contractions. So I was still happy, awake, and alert.

17 hours, lots of pitocin, and a fantastic epidural later.... Elijah Skye entered our world. And Mommy and Daddy were undone.

So excited! And so tired...

Meeting his great grandparents. And they sure are great.

Meeting Grandpa.

Cousins and Great Grandparents

My sister and I with our boys... It was almost a year ago that I was in Denver watching my sister go through this!

Cousin Harkins. He's a pro.

Elijah's going home outfit. Mine didn't fit. I don't want to talk about it. But he is sure cute.

My mom felt the need to take a picture of my ankles when we got home. My feet were swollen most of my pregnancy. But throw in some pitocin and you blow up like a balloon.

He makes so many funny faces. I love it.

His first bath at home. He was not a fan, but he was pretty patient with his parents who had no idea what they were doing.

Elijah's first playdate with his friend Jacob. They partied hard.

Meeting Uncle Brett. He's all business...

We tried to use the awesome lighting set up for my music video to take some good pictures of Elijah. He would not have it.

Elijah's second bath at home. Given by Grandma. He liked it much more. And I learned a lot.

Our little monkey...

Cousin Oliver is getting a little sibling in October... We think he liked his new cousin a lot and will be just fine.

Oddly enough, it was Oli's first easter too!

This one is my favorite....

He didn't like sharing his basket with that duck thing though...

Get excited for next week...we'll have a whole bunch of sleepy baby photos to share!

And now a word from Elijah...

2011-04-26T10:42:00.000-07:00

We are very excited for so many new things! I'll get back to blogging next week... For now, enjoy my new EP! You can find it on Itunes for $3.96. Elijah's words, not mine.

You can also check out my new music video!

Gratitude...

2011-04-12T08:35:00.000-07:00

Just in case someone or something or some comment or some blog or some news or some thought threw you for a loop this morning, don't forget that we are blessed beyond what we could ever dream...

Lyrics from Nichole Nordeman: Gratitude

Project 365 - Week 11

2011-04-11T14:15:00.000-07:00

What a week... From being showered (AGAIN) to losing all the feeling in my hands to watching my husband work another long week... It's been an interesting one. We are definitely crossing things off of our giant to do list like nobody's business and anxiously awaiting the day we get to meet Elijah. Today we found out that his estimated current weight is already 7 lbs 15 oz! That's just a hair shy of 8 lbs my friends. This kid is going to be a moose. Or maybe he's going to come tomorrow and be a totally normal-sized little newborn. Either way... These pictures are from Monday, April 4 - Sunday, April 10.

Monday, April 4 - After finding out that I am 1 cm dilated and 50% effaced, I got moving on my hospital bag. Not that those things mean anything, but at least there is some progress. The good news is, we will have some great and comforting entertainment for labor and postpartum.

Tuesday, April 5 - Nate's company threw us a very sweet shower. We played fun and somewhat embarrassing games. We ate a delicious and beautiful cake. And we were given lots of great things from our registry and our very own Innoventor Onesie. Hopefully, there will be a company function we can take him to when it fits.

Wednesday, April 6 - It was a beautiful day and I was highly motivated so I went outside to tackle one of our big to-dos: the backyard. This is the "before" picture. I picked up dog poop and sticks for about an hour. And then I went inside and took a nap. Don't hold your breath for an "after" picture.

Thursday, April 7 - As this is our first Spring in our new house (and since I'm hugely pregnant), I decided to wait on doing any big landscaping jobs until we have an idea of what is already planted. I noticed these flowers in a tight bud early in the morning and when I came back in the afternoon, they had bloomed! I LOVE signs of new life in the springtime.

Friday, April 8 - More progress on my kitchen... The boys carried in a 350 lb concrete countertop and I watched and took pictures because I'm like that. This time, the countertop made it safely into its place. And it is gorgeous!

Saturday, April 9 - This was the first weekend in a LONG time that I didn't have to share my husband with hunting or traveling or work. And while he did have a big race on Sunday, he was all mine on Saturday. We worked really hard to be intentional about our time together, but we mostly spent the day getting ready for this baby to get here. And (a pleasant surprise for us) it was very fun to take on a bunch of our projects together. I did a great job assembling the stroller. Sort of. So glad I married an engineer.

Sunday, April 10- Team Living Water ran the Go! St. Louis Half (and Full) Marathon! I had so much fun watching and attempting to encourage the runners. For many, it was their first, for others, it was their best, for some, their worst. Either way, I think it's safe to say that for everyone, it was their hottest half marathon ever, especially after training through a long winter. However, I saw them run with smiles, determination and a purpose much bigger than themselves. Way to go runners! It was inspiring to watch.

Project 365 - Week 10

2011-04-04T15:17:00.000-07:00

It has been a pretty great week! Nate got a little bit of a break by only working 75 hours (For some reason the counting helps me get through the week, even though he's not an hourly employee). That part sucked, but all things considered, it was a fabulous week. And things should be getting back to normal with his work schedule soon. I finally started getting over my disgusting sinus infection and cold and whatever else that was. Surprisingly, it made the whole giant pregnant thing feel like a breeze when I could breathe a little better. These pictures are from Monday, March 28 - April 3.

Monday, March 28 - The appliances arrived! And yes, they're still covered in plastic. Stainless steel is apparently really difficult to clean. I guess I'll be learning these things soon. But that also means that I will have a kitchen of my own to clean!

Tuesday, March 29 - My sweet Summer got spayed and had to wear this dumb cone of shame so she wouldn't lick or bite her stitches. It was gross and funny and sad all at the same time.

Wednesday, March 30 - Did you know you're supposed to wash EVERYTHING that will ever touch your baby's skin? That's a lot of laundry. I finally got started on it and lucky for me, my beautiful washer and dryer have a "babywear" setting.

Thursday, March 31 - The boys finished grouting the back splash and installing some of the appliances. They hit a barrier when they broke one of their hand made concrete countertops. It was heartbreaking. But they poured another and should be finishing the whole thing in a matter of days.... We'll see!

Friday, April 1 - My sister and her little guy came in town from Denver to help my mom and I finish up some of my shopping for baby. We found this killer rocking chair for the nursery. I have a feeling this mommy will be taking many naps in that chair during late night feedings.

Saturday, April 2 - My friend, Betty, took some maternity shots for me. She is launching her own photography business soon. She will do great things!

Sunday, April 3 - The YouthCrossing at Fenton Diaper Party! My friend, Lauren, and I are due about three weeks apart and we have both been volunteering with Fenton Youth since it began a little over a year ago. But I would have NEVER expected such a gift from our sweet students and leaders. I was totally caught off guard. And I couldn't be more grateful. It had everything from cake and punch to high school boys eating pudding out of diapers. It was so fun for everyone. I wanted to punch myself in the face when I realized I forgot my camera. But here is what we came home with. That means there were DOUBLE this amount of diapers. One of our girls even gave me a cloth diaper from my favorite baby store. Such generosity.

Pregnant Fears...

2011-03-31T11:54:00.000-07:00

Disclaimer: This post exposes a lot about how I've never been a mom. To those who have gone before me in this, first of all, Thank You. Secondly, don't laugh too hard at my ignorance and inexperience.

So I'm currently less than four weeks away from giving birth (or at least I should be)... Nate and I finished up our child-birthing class, so we are pros. We know that once the contractions are 5 minutes apart lasting one minute long for one hour straight, or if my bag of waters breaks, it is time to head to the hospital. We have "practiced" our drive and even though he says his way is faster, we're taking my way because that's one thing I get to have control over that day.

I am VERY excited to meet our little guy. But I think one thing I'm the most excited about is conquering this pregnancy once and for all. I have had a few moments of loving my pregnancy. Growing another life... Feeling his movements... ALL of the incredible support my friends and family have shown me (I hate that that's the best I can write to actually describe what a lucky girl I am)... But for most of my pregnancy, I have been uncomfortable. Vomiting, feeling weepy, feeling HUGE. The truth is, though, the physical stuff isn't what's bothered me most. What's been uncomfortable is all of my pregnant fears. Will I stay pregnant after 12 weeks? after 20 weeks? What does my poor husband think of the emotional, giant lady he wakes up to every morning? How in the world do 14 year olds do this?!? Not only do we have to figure out how to quickly sneak out of a room if and when we wet our pants(es?), we have to quickly get over our fear of needles, unexpected surgery, blood, tools, pain medication, lack of pain medication and bearing it all to nurses and (maybe) doctors who we've never even met before... I am one scared little girl. And all those people who have done it 1 or 2 or 19 times look at me and say "been there" And they have. And they aren't anymore. And while I plan to enjoy being "diaperfied" by some middle school and high school students and showered by Nate's new company that has been more than we could ever ask for....... I am ready to conquer this pregnancy once and for all. I am ready to push for two hours and be told I have to have a c-section. I am ready to have them stick a bunch of needles in my back only to be told the epidural isn't going to work on me. I am ready to hold my child. And kiss my husband and thank him for doing this to me. (you know like the opposite of screaming at him for doing this to me? We'll see how that goes) I say I'm ready. You can't be ready for the unexpected (and expected) curveballs, but I guess I should say I'm willing. I remember feeling this way when my wedding day was coming quickly. And what was the solution? I got married. I did it! And we have had our challenges, just like we will with Elijah, but we are stronger for it and I wouldn't trade the time I've spent with Nate for anything in the world...

This post really could have been summed up in a few words: After Nate builds the crib and my kitchen gets done (in the next week?!? cross your fingers), I am ready to get this whole childbirth thing over with. The fear of it has plagued me for way too long. And when I come out on the other side with a baby and my first set of stitches and God knows what else, I will be amazed that by God's grace, I get to be a mommy. And getting there was no easy task, but I did it. At least, I hope that's what happens.

24 Weeks ago, this is what he looked like...

Soon, we get to meet him!

Project 365 - Week 9

2011-03-28T12:18:00.001-07:00

What a week... It's been tough. Last Monday, the doctor informed me that I have carpal tunnel syndrome in both hands (see picture below). It has been very frustrating and painful, but by Thursday night it was overshadowed by my nasty sinus infection. Add a 5.5-6 lb baby to your belly and you've got one crabby girl. Nate also had a crazy week. He worked a grand total of 82 hours and when he wasn't sleeping or trying to keep himself hydrated, he was taking care of his pathetic wife. Nevertheless.... we made it. By staying patient, showing each other lots of grace, and letting our friends and family encourage us. Hopefully, this will prepare us for the challenging weeks to come!

Anyway, enough of that... Here are the pictures from Monday, March 21 - Sunday, March 27...

Monday, March 21 - These are the special splints I get to wear at night. If you look closely, you can see that my hands are pretty ridiculously swollen. Nate calls me carpal and laughs at me. I laugh too... most of the time.

Tuesday, March 22 - My mom took my grandma and I to lunch at Brio. It was very fun. And also rather funny. My 75 year old grandmother and I kept racing each other - out of the car, up the stairs, you name it... She came out victorious every time.

Wednesday, March 23 - I was very impressed (for lack of a better word) by my husband this week. He worked so hard and took great care of me and stayed so kind and patient while I complained a whole bunch. I know he would never trade late, tough nights at work for late, boring nights of video games and job hunting on the couch, but I think that may have been tested this week. He is a rockstar. So I did my best to clean and organize and do what I could to keep stuff at home in order. I was very proud of one of the lunches I made him... It included a plethora of healthy snacks, a note from me, our dog, and our unborn son and two diet cokes and two bottles of water to help him through his day.

Thursday, March 24 - The guys have been working so hard on my kitchen! Some of my countertops are finished (minus the stain they still need) but this is close to what it will look like. We so excited!

Friday, March 25 - I stayed in bed ALL day. Actually, I may have snuck out to take some middle school girls to smoothie king (a promise I'm apparently too stubborn to ever break). Nonetheless, this was my nightstand. Every pregnant safe medication known to man. And just about none of them did me any favors. Luckily, my antibiotic started kicking in a little.

Saturday, March 26 - These girls planned a night of fun for ME at just the right time. I was so sick and so ready to get this baby out! My wonderful friends gave me all my favorite comfort foods and gifts to look forward to when I am no longer pregnant. We painted our nails and rubbed oatmeal and yogurt on our faces (a surprisingly effective treatment!) And mostly they made me laugh and relax and be ok with the fact that sometimes you just have to shove a tissue in your nose and leave it there for a little while. I am blessed.

Sunday, March 27 - I've been waking up very early due to all of my current ailments so when we got a big snow on Saturday and I woke up to see the sunrise out my bedroom window on Sunday, I had a chance to reflect and be grateful for what's to come... We've faced an ugly winter, but Spring is coming. It reminded me of my one little word this year. We've faced some ugly times, but hope has returned. And there is so much more to come. Thank you, Jesus.

Project 365 - Week 8

2011-03-21T17:58:00.001-07:00

Another great week! I've definitely taken a turn for the uncomfortable, but I'm trying to have a good attitude since I've still got a good while before this baby gets here. This week was a big one for us: I traveled past my "doctor allowed" travel time (just by a couple days, but I don't recommend it), I had my last day of work, and my husband, brother, dad, and three cousins participated in a half marathon in Waco, TX while my sister, brother-in-law, nephew, and mom competed in a 5k (hence the need for the traveling, no way was I missing that!) How's that for a run-on sentence? Anyway, These pictures are from Monday, March 14 - Sunday, March 20.

Monday, March 14 - We got the first half of the nursery painted! Someday, we will paint the bottom half a chocolate brown color.

Tuesday, March 15 - Our Tuesday night ritual: Nate and I go to childbirthing class and then watch The Biggest Loser together when we get home. They red guy in the middle is Rulon. He's our favorite...

Wednesday, March 16 - My last day of work! I'm not sure yet if I'm going back, so it was a little sad. I'm also nervous that I'm going to go crazy in the next 5 weeks, but the mom of my nanny family had most of her kids 3-4 weeks early, so she wanted to play it safe. I took a picture of the kids, but I wasn't sure how their parents would feel about me posting pictures of them on the world wide web, so I also took a picture of my key...

Thursday, March 17 - These guys have been working HARD on my kitchen. It is very exciting. That thing they're holding is one of my concrete countertops in the works.

Friday, March 18 - Nate and I headed to Waco for the Baylor Bearathon. Flying was rather uncomfortable, but it was well worth it to catch the secret identity of Baylor's mascot. Actually, I don't even think that's the real one, but I was excited nonetheless.

Saturday, March 19 - The runners! I was a very proud spectator that day and didn't even get that jealous. I hung out with my grandparents and cousin and we were able to see the runners at a few different mile markers due to my impressive spectator and navigational skills. It was a very exciting day for all. The Baylor Bearathon has been named the toughest half marathon in Texas. Nate drove me through the course and they're not kidding.

Sunday, March 20 - Nate made the Waco newspaper! Actually, all my boys in the half-marathon did, we could just tell it was Nate since he wore a bright orange shirt. We also celebrated the first day of Spring! I love Spring.

Next week, you'll get to hear all about my carpal tunnel... Get excited!

Project 365 - Week 7

2011-03-14T20:32:00.000-07:00

It's been yet another great week! We resumed the kitchen remodel, began washing ALL of our baby clothes, and took a short to trip KC to see the Jayhawks win the big 12 championship... These pictures are from Monday, March 7 - Sunday March 13, 2011.

Monday, March 7 - This is our "finished" version of our massive to do list. We're making small dents. But we also keep adding things, so it seems to be getting longer. And I seem to be getting slower and less energetic. My "nesting" instinct comes and goes... I'm hoping it comes back soon.

Tuesday, March 8 - My cousin, Skylar began installing the cabinets by himself so my uncle could stay home and tend to his sick wife... I don't understand how you hang cabinets by yourself, but Skylar made it look easy.

Wednesday, March 9 - Nate and a couple of his friends went to see this movie, so I thought I would make good use of my time by having these guys paint the letters that we're going to hang in Elijah's nursery. They were definitely the right choice for this project and they painted really fast.

Thursday, March 10 - I went to the store and bought some cadbury eggs... That's right, they're back in season! This means two things: 1)I'm really happy. 2)Easter is coming - which means the baby is coming!

Friday, March 11 - On Tuesday, my brother released an EP called "The Way that I Want You" It is Fabulous! He was listed in the top 5 albums in the singer/songwriter category on Itunes. I am one proud sister. THEN, on Friday, I got to see the hard copy of it... First of all the artwork is amazing, Second of all, my son was mentioned in the "Thank You" section. So sweet.

Saturday, March 12 - We spent Friday night at a hotel in Kansas City with a few members of my family. On Saturday, we all drove to Troy, MO to go explore some new farms. I got to see a whole bunch of new territory. A couple of old, creepy houses, barns, and LOTS of woods and hills. I definitely got my workout in, but it was totally fun. One thing I love about the Troy farm is this old school house. I think it's beautiful. One day, we hope to rehab it and maybe turn it into a chapel or something...

Sunday, March 13 - We made it home from Kansas City and Nate and I decided that it was high time we tackle the nursery. So we took the baby's bedding to Home Depot, had them match the two colors we want and then spent the rest of the afternoon taping and attempting to measure and draw straight lines. It was fun. And made my back hurt. Or maybe that was all the exploring from the day before... Either way.

Until Next Week...

Tiny Feet...

2011-03-13T19:26:00.000-07:00

One of the things that got me feeling giddy about the little guy was looking at the sweet baby shoes given to me at my shower last weekend... While my mom (and anyone who has had babies) kept saying things like "good luck keeping those on his feet", I'm still on the side of having no idea what that means. Therefore, I will adore these tiny shoes for Elijah's tiny feet.

Reflective Friday...

2011-03-11T09:05:00.000-08:00

I'm still taking notes on life... And learning a lot. I don't want to jinx it by actually admitting it, but ever since I've been intentionally observing my life, writing things down, and focusing on my future, I have found that I am way more ok with the girl that God intended me to be. And a much happier mom-to-be. So here's a few highlights of what I've learned in the last couple of weeks...

Never EVER volunteer for anything in child-birthing class.
Elijah is one very loved baby already.
I have some extraordinarily gifted and generous friends.
Pregnancy is not for sissies. However, when I think about my challenges and (for lack of a better word) craziness, I start to realize that being a supportive husband to your pregnant wife takes way more guts than I'll ever have. Thank you, Nate.
My last name has a "c" in it... I already know that. Just thought I'd mention it in case others need to learn.
Time management gets difficult when there's a 4.5 lb baby sitting on your bladder all the time. I wonder then how much more difficult it will be when that baby (hopefully a safe 7-8 lbs in weight) is out of the womb...

A little more than 6 weeks until my due date! That's nuts. And a little scary. And VERY exciting.

Handmade Baby...

2011-03-10T12:08:00.000-08:00

I LOVE that I come from a generation of modern crafters! While I like to pretend I'm good at it, I could NEVER craft anything close to the beautiful handmade gifts I was given at my shower...

My friend, Megan, made this for Elijah's nursery. His theme is African Safari and this blanket will complement his bedding nicely. Not to mention it is soooo soft!

A totally cute, portable diaper changer for Elijah! Made by my friend Katie. She owns this store in the valley. She also taught me how to sew!

I LOVE that when it unfolds it has a convenient little pocket for diapers and wipes. Practical, Adorable... Just what I need!

These hats were also crafted by my friend Katie. I can't wait to see what he looks like in his sweet little headgear!

Elijah's crocheted jungle friends! Made with love by my BFF. They match his nursery theme perfectly.

Project 365 - Week 6

2011-03-07T13:29:00.000-08:00

What a wonderful week! We had a bunch of family in town for my baby shower, we got to see our little guy on a 3d ultra sound, and I cleaned my house like a mad woman. Nesting has definitely set in. Luckily, I have a sweet, helpful husband to keep me from moving all the furniture, put up with my frantic cleaning spells, and even provide tons of help after long days at work... Anyway, these pictures are from February 28 - March 6. Enjoy!

Monday, February 28 - Summer had a long day at the vet. We weren't sure what was wrong, but she lost all bladder control and had something going on in her kidneys. However, after she was given some good medicine, she was back to her normal excited self by the time Nate got home from work.

Tuesday, March 1 - The first day of March! That means it's almost Spring! Praise Jesus!

Wednesday, March 2 - A new (old and borrowed) "wedding ring" for my swollen fingers. You wouldn't believe some of the looks you get when you go ringless as a pregnant girl. Or maybe I just make that stuff up in my head. Either way, I like having a ring on.

Thursday, March 3 - The kitchen cabinets have arrived! Don't worry, the strong movers put all the boxes inside, they just got to my house before I did, so this is what I drove up to. We're hoping the kitchen renovation will be done in the next month!

Friday, March 4 - Our new bedding arrived! When we moved into our new house, we upgraded to a king size bed, but couldn't find any bedding that we liked in our price range... Finally, I came across this website. Great, cute, inexpensive stuff.

Saturday, March 5 - I had the most amazing baby shower ever! I will give you more details soon, but I felt so blessed by all the fun, adorable things people gave and the sweet words that they said. My sister and friends worked very hard to make it a fun party and it was definitely a success!

Sunday, March 6 - We celebrated the birthdays of two of my favorite nephews! Sharks is 4 and Finn is 1. It was an adorable birthday party! The boys are getting to the age where it's really fun and exciting to open presents and play games. Elijah is going to have some fun cousins to play with!

TIDEWATER - Halo [Beyoncé Cover] Official Music Video

2011-03-01T11:27:00.000-08:00

This is just so amazing to me! It fills me with big sister pride like I've never felt before... Watch it and watch it again. Not only will it do your soul good, but my (soon-to-be-born) son, Elijah, has a special part. See if you can find it. This is just a glimpse at his upcoming EP. It will be released March 8 on Itunes. That's in only 7 days!

Project 365 - Week 5

2011-02-28T19:36:00.001-08:00

What a great week we had! We got a lot done on our house, came up with some more creative meals that don't need a kitchen and took a couple of lovely walks through our neighborhood... You'll see the rest of the highlights below. These pictures are from Monday, February 21 - Sunday, February 27.

Monday, February 21 - My 11 year old nanny kid and I have been playing the same game of monopoly for almost 3 weeks now... We are stuck. But as you can see with my stack of cash, I am going to win... Eventually.

Tuesday, February 22 - Nate and I began our first round of childbirth classes. This class covers childbirth, nursing, and newborn care. My favorite parts were (1) watching everyones' faces when the teacher pushed a doll through a skeleton and (2) practicing relaxation techniques (a.k.a. Nate rubs my back and plays with my hair for 30 minutes)

Wednesday, February 23 - With less than 9(ish) weeks until baby gets here, Nate and I began putting our giant to do list on a giant piece of paper to hang where it can always be in our face. We'll see how that goes.

Thursday, February 24 - Nate's work is doing a Biggest Loser competition and he is doing an amazing job... Especially for having a wife who has occasional moments of eating massive amounts of whatever she wants.... Anyway, he won this week's weigh-in! He got to choose from a number of different $10 gift cards and chose Bath & Body Works for his pregnant wife. He's so romantic. :)

Friday, February 25 - Speaking of romantic, we got a second date this week (that is if you count birthing class and watching Biggest Loser as a date - which I sure do!) We went to California Pizza Kitchen with a gift card from Christmas and then we hit up redbox for a movie that my friend Erin recommended for a good pregnant laugh. (Disclaimer: For those who are concerned, Nate researched the nutrition facts at CPK beforehand and made good, healthy choices.)

Saturday, February 26 - There are so many of my friends and family training with Team Living Water for the Go! St. Louis Marathon and Half Marathon that I just can't stand not showing up for a good ole Saturday morning long run. So this week, I went with these guys to be a cheerleader, take some pictures, and get really really cold. Worth it.

Sunday, February 27 - 32 Weeks Pregnant. That means we're down to 8(ish) weeks. Oh My. As you can see, Elijah is sure growing!

Reflective Friday...

2011-02-25T09:51:00.000-08:00

This week, I decided to start taking notes on life... I don't know if I'll stick with it, but as I've discovered what things stick out to me in my daily stuff, I learn a ton about myself. So here's what I've got...

-Being the "all time pitcher" in a game of kickball is almost as awesome as expectant mother parking.

-Having little high school kids inform you that your baby bump is bigger than the kickball... well... I wouldn't say that's the best.

-Words are a big deal. It's important to choose to forget the hurtful ones and cling to encouraging words of truth. I love having a strong memory. While there is most definitely a place for truly constructive criticism (in fact, I thrive on it), I wonder who I would be if I rested in the encouraging truths of myself instead of letting hurtful words haunt me... I wonder.

-"Pamper the Pregnant Girl Day" is Nate's best invention yet. I love that guy.

-It is not nice to refer to a mother-to-be as "big" or "crazy" or "hormonal"... Like we don't already know.

-Strong marriages produce strong parents and confident babies.

-It is better to hope than to despair.

-If full time ministry is what you're called to do, then you're called to do it... Even if you don't have an office.

-As one's tummy stretches, it can get pretty itchy. DON'T scratch! It will scare your husband and leave you looking like a pregnant cat owner.

Everything else I'm learning involves giving birth. A beautiful, but disgusting miracle that I'll do my best not to publicly detail. However, once you're in that world, it's easy to forget that not everyone is used to hearing terms like "afterbirth" and "uterus" and.... well... those aren't even the worst of them... Just saying.

When you feel so tired, but you can't sleep...

2011-02-24T04:09:00.001-08:00

When I can't sleep, I tend to end up here....

http://whenparentstext.com/

I've woken up my husband a few times unable to contain my laughter....

Project 365 - Week 4

2011-02-20T17:27:00.000-08:00

These pictures are from Monday, February 14 - Sunday, February 20. It has been a great week with beautiful weather... I have very quickly developed spring fever. Although, I don't think it's

here to stay, it was wonderful to have sunshine and warmth in February.

Monday, February 14 - Since our dining room and kitchen are in shambles, my sweet husband decorated the family room for valentine's day. I came home to take out, candles, and fire... He is amazing.

Tuesday, February 15 - I invited a few of my friends to the studio to help put the finishing touches on the album (a.k.a. gang vocals). It was very fun and the vocals turned out great!

Wednesday, February 16 - My beautiful kitchen floor is finished!

Thursday, February 17 - I've been reading a ton of books about pregnancy and mommy hood and newborns and learning all kinds of disgusting things I never wanted to know... This book came in the mail on Thursday.... I'm really grateful it probably won't talk about delivering a baby.

Friday, February 18 - On Thursday night, I traveled to the lake with some of my friends. I've been trying to fill my weekends with fun things until I can't travel anymore... It's totally working! This third trimester seems to be going really quickly (for now). Anyway, on Friday, we sat on the dock and watched little boys (and big boys too) throw rocks in the water. It was a beautiful day. My nose even got a little sunkissed.

Saturday, February 19 - Another beautiful day at the lake. AND I got to take a good nap.

Sunday, February 20 - Since we had been out of town, we caught up on all of our Thursday night tv shows. I think we record a ridiculous total of 6 shows on Thursday nights. Nate and I have recently taken an interest in American Idol. With the new judges, we find it very entertaining.

Until next week...

Project 365 - Weeks 2 & 3

2011-02-14T13:16:00.000-08:00

Last week, I was out of the country, so I couldn't post my daily pictures... That means that this week, you get a double dose!

Monday, January 31 - This little guy decided to hang out on our front porch. I thought it was so sweet until I saw the massive amounts of poops. How could one bird have so much poop?

Tuesday, February 1 - SNOWMAGEDDON! Although it wasn't as bad as the weatherman predicted, we had a pretty nasty snow and ice storm that shut down st.louis for at least a day and a half (for some it was more like a week). One of our trees branches froze and landed in the street... It felt picture-worthy at the time.

Wednesday, February 2 - Most people complained about the terrible weather... Summer, however, LOVES the snow.

Thursday, February 4 - My sister and nephew arrived from Denver so that we could all fly together for a Mexican adventure! Grandma was VERY happy to see her grandson.

Friday, February 4 - With a free upgrade to first class on his first international flight, Oli was a happy camper. He is a pretty relaxed traveler... unlike his aunt.

Saturday, February 5 - After a long, "balmy" night without luggage (or diapers), we finally received our stuff at 5 a.m. However, someone decided to rummage through each of our bags and took our diapers, (select) maternity clothes, perfume, and a few other things. It was rough and frustrating. But after we went and bought some expensive mexican diapers (on American Airlines' tab), we all put on the swimsuits that weren't taken and arrived at the beach.... And all was right with the world.

Sunday, February 6 - We laid around on the beach all day... This little guy loves [eating] the sand. And don't worry overprotectives, he was only naked for a few pictures on the beach and definitely doused in sunscreen.

Monday, February 7 - This is me in a swimming suit at 29 weeks pregnant... It's hard not to use the expression "beached whale", but I was VERY excited about my special maternity swimsuit that didn't get stolen and arrived in the mail just one day before our trip.

Tuesday, February 8 - We said goodbye to the beautiful, warm weather in Cancun and headed back to freezing weather in St. Louis (for my mom and I) and Denver (for my sister and Oli) It was a fabulous trip, filled with many memories.

Wednesday, February 9 - I was a little weather shocked when I got back to St. Louis, so instead of taking anymore pictures or going outside, I uploaded all my cancun pics and reminisced... And thought a lot about the child pictured above.

Thursday, February 10 - Summer turned 1! Believe it or not, this was the best picture we could get. We all wore birthday hats, and ate cookies (human cookies for humans and doggie cookies for doggie). I can't believe our little puppy dog is one year old!

Friday, February 11 - Just a day after she turned one, Summer got a special gift from mother nature... Yes even girl dogs get it! We have been planning on getting her spayed, but we wanted to wait until she turned one so her growth wasn't stunted. Apparently, we waited a little too long. But look at that cute little doggie diaper! Poor girl.

Saturday, February 12 - I got to celebrate my friend Asher's fourth birthday with a monster-themed birthday party and a date to the movies! Can't believe that kid is four!

Sunday, February 13 - Fenton Youth Group. This is typically the highlight of my weekend and this week was no exception! These kids are funny and rambunctious (to say the least) and they keep my brain from turning to mush.

Leaving...

2011-02-04T07:23:00.001-08:00

I'm heading to Cancun for a long weekend with my mom and sister for a
little R,R and vitamin D. Did you know that 50% of caucasian pregnant
women suffer from insufficent amounts of vitamin D? I feel that a
little bit of beach time is the perfect remedy. The boys are going on
their own adventure to Dallas, Texas. Something about cheese and
steel? I don't know.

Either way, I'm going to the beach... And I may never return.

The boy has a name...

2011-01-31T17:54:00.001-08:00

We have officially decided on a name for our little guy... We've been thinking this name all along, but apparently I have some commitment issues. I love that I get to talk to our son and call him by name. It's definitely the first time I've really felt that warm and fuzzy love and excitement that everyone tells me I should be feeling. Anyway, we are happy. Elijah was a prophet in the Bible. Skye is an island in Scotland. Sounds like he's got a bright future...

Project 365 - Week 1

2011-01-30T20:48:00.001-08:00

Pictures from January 23-January 30, 2011...

On Sunday, Nate and I finally got a chance to play with this dog in the snow... She LOVES snow!

On Monday, We said goodbye to this kitchen. No more green counters!

In just 3 short hours, this is what my kitchen became.

Nate and I managed to get a really fun date in by the fire... Scrabble Deluxe included. I beat him by 8 points.

This is the part I am MOST excited about with the kitchen... This time last week, this picture would show a sad wall wanting to be taken out. Now we have so much more sunshine on that side of the house! It's exciting, even if "the pregnant girl" isn't allowed to walk in there.

This is the kitchen after day 4. They spent most of the day figuring out the wiring in our kitchen. Apparently the people before us were DIY kind of folks...

We began registering for baby gear this weekend. It is way too overwhelming, but at least I get prime parking.

Oh so lovely... This is why I rarely take belly bump pictures. I don't know how to do it and look cute like other people do... But THIS is a milestone: the last day of my second trimester!

End of Day Three...

2011-01-27T21:18:00.000-08:00

Today they took out half of the wall between the kitchen and the
dining room. They ("they" being my uncle don and my cousin skylar)
weren't going to be able to do that because there were a couple of
different heating and cooling ducts in the wall. But because they're
so amazing, they are going to reroute the kitchen ductwork to the
nursery and the nursery ductwork to the kitchen. In other words,
they're putting in a bunch of extra work to let me look out the window
while I do dishes and give me a bar with pendant lighting... I am
such a lucky girl!

Project 365...

2011-01-27T09:27:00.000-08:00

One of my goals for the new year was to take a picture EVERY day. It will apparently make me a better photographer, as well as chronicle my life. Maybe my word of the year should be stealing because I stole this idea too. From this girl... who has done really well with it. I have to be honest: I have failed miserably. Except this week. So on Sunday, you'll get to see a picture from each day of this week. I won't reveal them to you yet, but what I will do is show you the honorable mentions of the not-so daily pictures I have taken so far...

Look how cute that guy is! This was on January 3. He was supposed to start his new job on this day, but he showed up one monday (as an intern) in December and they said, "Congratulations, you're starting today". I didn't get a chance to make him a special lunch or take his picture or anything! So we pretended like January 3 was his first day anyway.

Texts Creations from my brother...

Dinner at Grandma's. Complete with Brett giving Grandma some tutorials on her new computer.

After our family fun run with Team Living Water!

We all (Nate, me, Nicole, and Hunter) took a trip to fleet feet and got new running shoes. I don't get to run much these days, but just about EVERYONE in my family (extended family included) has gotten the bug. (Of course they would when I'm on the DL). So fun!

Road Trip to Chicago for Ikea and time with some of our college friends. It was cold. And so much fun!

While we were in Chicago, we drove by the house I lived in from birth-4 years old. It's definitely been redone. And I could have sworn that hill was a lot bigger, but my dad says that's just because my legs were shorter.

Stay Tuned... The real fun starts Sunday!

End of Day Two...

2011-01-26T20:23:00.001-08:00

This is the other side of the kitchen. I'm doing a lot of watching and
dropping my jaw. Tonight I shopped for tile for the floor and
backsplash. I also took a look at appliances... Fridges are
expensive! But I found a stove and a dishwasher that I love. So far,
the kitchen renovation has been way too fun for me. Oh the joys of
homeownership!

The End of Day One...

2011-01-25T19:44:00.000-08:00

Demolition Day...

2011-01-25T13:22:00.000-08:00

Main Entry: de·mol·ish

Pronunciation: \di-ˈmä-lish\

1 a : tear down, raze b : to break to pieces : smash
2 a : to do away with : destroy b :to strip of any pretense of merit or credence

AKA: what is happening to my kitchen...

Pictures to come...

The Year Of Hope...

2011-01-23T18:28:00.000-08:00

So... this is late. Very late in fact. But I’m giving myself all kinds of grace thanks to pregnancy, moving, and doing them both at the same time.

One of my favorite “crafty” blogs is this one. The girl is talented and oh so impressive. I can never produce anything as good as her... even when I’m copying. However, one thing I have decided to embrace is her version of a new years resolution. She chooses one word every year to focus on. Last year, it was “story”. She talked a ton throughout the year about her story and how it fits with the stories of those around her. It amazed me how much she was able to learn and focus on from one simple word.

Anyway, I’m stealing her idea. It’s no secret that 2010 was a tough year for my little family. My husband was unemployed and encompassed all the side effects that come with that. I was working harder than I ever had before to reach a goal that I didn’t end up meeting. Things tended to come swiftly and unexpectedly and left us hopeless. In fact, the day that we found out we were pregnant (which to us, was not super great news at the time), Nate was in a car accident on his way to work and at the end of the day, he was let go from his internship (we didn’t know it at the time, but he was only let go for a week.... did enough to scare the poop out of us though). I won’t go into my details, but it was a terrible day in my world as well. The sad thing is, that’s just one example of times when Nate and I cried and held each other and felt as though this had to be rock bottom. I’m not trying to sound like a martyr or anything... I get that I’ve got a lot more life to live and we will know great (and greater) pain like this again. But 2010 was easily the most challenging year of my [young] existence.

Then came December. I was beginning to be able to eat again and function and make it a full 24 hours without crying. We were in the process of buying our first home so that little baby Aucker wouldn’t have to live in the crate with Summer. And of course, The hope and excitement of Christmas loomed ahead. The best part of it was that at the very beginning of the Christmas season, Nate came home with some of the best swift and unexpected news we could ever ask for... A job offer as a Mechanical Engineer at one of the most creative, unique, and successful engineering companies in St. Louis. He shocked me with the good news at dinner with his parents. I didn’t believe him (as I tend to not believe shocking news for at least a few days... sometimes months), but he showed me the papers. For the rest of that month, there were several moments that Nate and I could not believe the lives we were living. Sure it was stressful trying to communicate through a move and a little unfair that I couldn’t carry much of anything and just bossed people around. But there were many many moments that we were both completely beside ourselves with the way that God had blessed us. In a time that we weren’t the most eager to trust Him, He pursued us like no other and gave us a big fat YES to a whole bunch of prayers. We had great hope for the coming year.

And now it’s 2011 and my one little word is just that: hope. Hope that we won’t face another year full of trials, although we will always remember to plant our feet and bank on grace. Hope that we will give birth to a healthy baby boy who will change our lives for the better. And hope that no matter what happens, we serve a God who can be trusted. While he promises suffering, he also promises life and he promises to never leave us. So we have hope. And that is what I know now. I am excited to learn more and more about this one little word throughout the year. I’m excited to see what God will do in Nate and in our little guy and in me. I can’t promise it will be a good year. But I can promise to live in hope, anxiously waiting on God’s next move.

Blogger Down...

2011-01-04T13:27:00.000-08:00

One of these days, we will get Internet at the new house. Until
then... See if you can come up with a name for my future son. BRB.

Sent from my phone.

Memory Monday...

2010-12-20T13:26:00.000-08:00

This week, I'll be finishing up The Magnificat. Here it is in it's entirety. It's just so beautiful.

"And Mary said, 'My soul glorifies the Lord. My spirit rejoices in God my Savior. For he has been mindful of the humble state of his servant. From now on, all generations will call me blessed, for the Mighty One has done great things for me - Holy is His name. His mercy extends to those who fear him, from generation to generation. He has performed mighty deeds with his arm; he has scattered those who are proud in their inmost thoughts. He has brought down rulers from their thrones but has lifted up the humble. He has filled the hungry with good things but has sent the rich away empty. He has helped his servant Israel, remembering to be merciful to Abraham and his descendants forever, just as he promised our ancestors.'"

~Luke 1:46-55

I've been finding myself relating to Mary more than I usually do lately. Take away the "holiness" of her, and you've just got a scared pregnant girl. People look at her funny. Most of those in her community have pushed her out. I would guess she would stare at the ceiling most nights wondering why she was chosen for such a holy task. Or maybe she tossed and turned thinking of all the people who called her crazy and started avoiding her. I wonder how often she thanked the Lord for a man like Joseph in her life. She probably also got to have things like heartburn and the constant need to pee. It's interesting that on the front side of her pregnancy, she didn't have a clue what a big plan God had for her. But it was indeed the biggest plan of all. The fulfillment of prophecy. And now, because God sent his son for Mary to give birth to, I get to be blessed too. I get to have hope that my Savior came to earth to live, die, and be resurrected. I get to experience grace. And I get to know that even though this side of my pregnancy I can't see much of anything (I can hardly see my feet anymore), I get to know and rest in the fact that I serve a God who can be trusted. I get to laugh deeply with people who love me. And I get to be excited that God has big plans for my little growing family. I can't seem to put it better than this early Christmas carol did. In case you need to read it one more time... Or memorize it...

~Luke 1:46-55

Thankful Thursday...

2010-12-16T14:10:00.001-08:00

There is so much great stuff happening this week! Unfortunately it's
a little more stuff than I have time for... But nonetheless, I'm
grateful...

-We have recieved SO much help with our house! Whether it's helping
with the Christmas tree or strategically maneuvering furniture up and
down narrow stairways, our friends and family have been so helpful,
it's overwhelming.
-Tomorrow I get to go Christmas caroling!
-Summer loves her new yard.
-Kingsize bed.
-Last Friday, we got to see our little one on the ultrasound... We
also found out that he's a boy!!

The Drop Album '10 Is Here!

2010-12-13T13:04:00.000-08:00

Be sure you go and check this out... It includes music from my brother, many of my friends and yours truly. It's a great gift for your friends and family... And the best part is, it's FREE! With the money you save, you can go here and give clean water in the name of Jesus to families who need it.

Thankful Thursday...

2010-12-09T19:25:00.000-08:00

We have a lot going on and a lot to be thankful for this week...
-Tomorrow (hopefully) we get to find out if we're having a boy or a
girl!
-Also tomorrow, Nate and a bunch of his strong friends will be moving
the heavy furniture to the new house.
-Saturday, we are having a moving party. So far, we're pretty sure
Nate and I will be at the moving party.
-We're almost done packing.
-Christmas lights are magical.

Memory Monday...

2010-12-06T20:11:00.001-08:00

"for the Mighty One has done great things for me—
holy is his name. His mercy extends to those who fear him,
from generation to generation"

Luke 1:49-50

Pushing Back December Madness...

2010-12-03T12:54:00.001-08:00

Can you believe it's December already? This is by far my favorite month of the year and for some reason even in the first few days of it this year God is being extra great to Nate and I. One of my favorite yearly traditions is the crazy excitement and creativity people get with Advent Conspiracy. Gifts are so fun and creative and well thought out as opposed to Christmas sweaters and trinkets that no one needs. And I LOVE Christmas sweaters and trinkets that no one needs, so you can only imagine my excitement when we get to give and receive something better! My main goal for this advent season is to push back on "December madness" and relax and enjoy my favorite time of year. so here are some things I'm doing....

-Going to bed early: Nate and I have been finding ourselves in bed by 9 p.m. every night. This is partly because he gets up at 5 for work and partly because I'm pregnant. But it's AWESOME. We get to hang out and talk and relax until we fall asleep well before 10 p.m. I love it.

-Being on time: December is the most difficult month for me to manage my time. So I'm saying no to things and giving myself ample preparation and driving time to the things I say yes to. The hope is to stay organized and not let life get away from me.

-Making gifts: I'm making a Christmas tree ornament (a total cost of $.15 per ornament) to adorn each gift I wrap. I'm making the ornament before I get my friends and family their gifts so I can spend time thinking and praying about what they might need or want for Christmas this year. It's SO much more relaxing (and FUN!) than stressing and googling and "etsying" for hours trying to find the perfect gift.

-Asking for help: Nate and I are moving next weekend. It was supposed to be this weekend, but it turns out refinishing wood floors in a house with no carpet takes more than a couple of days. I'm not usually ashamed to ask for help anyway, but since I'm pregnant and this move has proved itself to be particularly stressful, we are excited (and grateful) for the help that we've been given and will be getting as we move. It's an exciting picture of community to get to literally share our burdens with friends and family.

-Birthday Fun: For my birthday, we're having some friends over to go Christmas caroling. While this sounds like the most magical thing in the world to me, we're also giving each neighbor we visit a living water gift card and an invitation to the Christmas Eve services at the Crossing. I can't wait!

What are you doing to push back on December Madness?

Thankful Thursday...

2010-12-02T12:47:00.000-08:00

Today I have SO much to be thankful for!

-We closed on our house this morning. It took 20 minutes. And Nate and I each got our own garage door opener.

-I felt my baby's first kicks last night! I've been feeling a little craziness in the abdomen area for a while now, but this was the first time I really knew... I think we've got a future soccer player on our hands.

-It's Christmas time. It's magical. And I LOVE that my church has a slight obsession with making Christmas meaningful and worshipful, while pushing back on December madness and consumerism. (More on this tomorrow).

-I have ONE more song to write before we can wrap up the hard work on my first full length album.

-Nate's internship is going so well. We are so grateful for all the opportunities and experience he's getting.

-My Birthday is in 17 days.

Pawgess Report!

2010-12-01T10:59:00.000-08:00

A pawgress report is what we get from Petsmart when Summer goes to Doggie Day Camp. She went to doggie day camp for Three days while we were in Kansas for Thanksgiving.

Food: Gobbled it all down

Fun: Party Animal

Bed: Lights out, Sweet Dreams

Potty: Took care of business

Overall: Carefree, calm and comfy

Notes: Summer had a fantastic stay with us! She played so hard in Camp! She made friends with an Irish Setter named Woody! They played so hard together! She made so many other friends as well. We love having Summer and we can't wait to see her again soon!

Memory Monday

2010-11-29T13:29:00.000-08:00

"And Mary said:

'My soul glorifies the Lord and my spirit rejoices in God my Savior, for he has been mindful of the humble state of his servant. From now on all generations will call me blessed'"

Luke 1:46-48

Memory Monday...

2010-11-22T20:23:00.001-08:00

My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry,

James 1:19

Thankful Thursday...

2010-11-18T08:24:00.000-08:00

Today I am thankful for...

-Slumber parties in the living room

-My dog

-The fact that I'm starting to look more pregnant than fat (I think)

-Sweet nurses who put up with my frantic phone calls

-Sleeping in

-The fact that this time next week, I'll be eating the most delicious food of the year. I'm also thankful that if I'm not hungry for it when everyone else eats, there are ALWAYS leftovers.

-The small (and not so small) hints that Christmas is coming!

Pawgress Report

2010-11-16T11:01:00.000-08:00

A pawgress report is what we get from Petsmart when Summer goes to Doggie Day Camp. She went to doggie day camp for Three days while we were in Denver! She loved it.

Food: Gobbled it down.

Fun: Party Animal!

Bed: Lights out, sweet dreams

Potty: Took care of business [this one always makes us proud]

Overall: Had a pleasant stay. Carefree, calm, and comfy.

Notes: Summer had a wonderful stay with us as usual [yep we're usuals these days]. She loved being in day camp! She made so many friends! Her favorite was a boxer baby named Maverick. They wrestled and had a great time. We hope to see her again soon!!

We're so proud.

The New Blog....

2010-11-16T08:40:00.001-08:00

I hate when people talk about being sorry for not writing in a while like they were missed or something... Which I guess is true sometimes, but I am sorry to myself for not blogging in a while. I love my blog. I've had it since my freshmen year of college.... that's almost 5 years of random thoughts, pictures, and events of my life! So, I decided I'd try to spruce this thing up a little bit. All you visuals are probably ecstatic, but that's not what I mean, although maybe... Anyway, be on the look out for stuff about my music, my belly, my HOUSE! and other happenings. You'll also find some consistent things like "Pawgress Reports" and "Thankful Thursdays"... Maybe even "Memory Monday".... I'm not sold on that one yet though. Be looking forward to it... A Pawgress Report will be coming soon.

14 Weeks down 26(ish) to go!

2010-10-25T13:08:00.000-07:00

So the last couple of days have been pretty rough for me. I haven't been feeling good. And I've basically been a hot mess. And I mean hot. Our air conditioning was broken and even with the windows open and fans on, our apartment managed to stay around 87 degrees. It was miserable. I was miserable and discouraged for not much of a reason at all. But I couldn't get myself to snap out of it. And then I figured out what it was.... I'm pregnant and hormonal and basically crazy. I cry, I say mean things to people I love, I take things personally, I cry... Really I'm just Ashley on steroids, but there's a reason those things are outlawed. They're not good for anyone. And that's when I realized... I don't really like being pregnant. I read and hear people saying they love or loved pregnancy. They're prepared with their lists of questions for the doctor and things to register for and baby names that everyone has agreed on. I've got nothing. Except a whole bunch of feelings. So I've been pretty discouraged about the whole thing... which I'm sure is common. Maybe. But then I look at this....

And this.... (my furry nephew with my real one)

And this...

And I remember that babies bring healing. And that I don't have to have everything figured out. And that the challenges that pregnancy brings will all be worth it in about six months. And when I think I can't do it... I remember that I have to and that I trust in a God who can be trusted with everything whether it's the tears from a rice krispy treat commercial or hurtful words that haunt me. God has a plan for the Auckers. And for that (and many other things), we give Him thanks.

My Thoughts on Football...

2010-10-23T18:39:00.001-07:00

Get Ready... I'm about to expose a whole lot about myself that neither you nor my husband are ready for.

I don't understand football. Sure I get the rules, I definitely get the need for them to wear those giant things under their outfits, and I TOTALLY understand the desire to go to a game and yell and scream and eat a hot dog and cotton candy for no reason at all... But I don't understand the hype. I find myself sitting in conversations wondering things like: "What is a BCS? And why is that person so mean and cocky? They don't know what's going to happen. And is there anyone else in this room that's wondering what I'm wondering? Smile. Nod. Pretend to be appalled because that sure sounded like an insult. Smile. Agree. Make a B-Line for the food table"

It's almost as bad as when Nate talks about engineering physics with his college friends. But no one expects me to know anything about that stuff. But Football? Sure I'll support Nate. And I'll bake when he invites his friends over to watch games. And I'll sit there and play angry birds and really truly invest myself in the team that Nate chooses unless I'm mad at him and I go for the team with the prettier jersey... Then I'll be genuinely sad when they lose or truly elated when they win. But the next morning I'll wake up with a football hangover, feeling stupid for yelling at the tv in front of boys who already think I'm crazy and for actually thinking my call was better than the Umpire's. (Just Kidding I totally know it's called a referee or maybe it's called an official. Never mind, I totally don't know).

Bottom Line? I'll endure it. Especially for my Jayhawks and the tight pants. But I will never understand it.

It makes people mean. I gag when they spit. And nobody likes watching poor college kids get their ribs broken or their heads cracked.

But I digress... I'll just stick with my go to's and remind them to Establish the Run and tell the other team to Eat Grass... And I will suffer quietly until this season ends.

Meet Baby Aucker...

2010-10-12T16:11:00.001-07:00

Dear Baby...

We saw you for the very first time today! You sat so politely for the first couple of minutes and then you squirmed and kicked like we were expecting. Remember how your daddy said he thought you had a sibling in there? Just take note that your mommy was right. It's a mommy thing. Luckily though, that means you get your own womb to grow big and strong in. We also found out that you might get here a couple days sooner than we expected. The new due date is April 25. The day after Easter. Pretty exciting! You are precious. And we can't wait to see you again in a few weeks to find out if we will paint your room pink or blue. We love how God is knitting you together and making you your own special little boy or girl. And we are anxiously awaiting your arrival.

Love,

Your Parents.

11 Weeks.

2010-10-05T18:44:00.000-07:00

Good News!

2010-09-26T18:15:00.000-07:00

That's right! I'm pregnant! We are shocked and amazed and terrified and completely thrilled!

Here are some Frequently Asked Questions....

1. How did this happen?

That's a great question! Ask your parents.

2. How long have you known?

Almost 7 weeks. And you thought I couldn't keep a secret.

3. How are you feeling?

For the first 9 weeks, I felt zero sickness and lots of tired and LOTS of emotions. When I hit 9 weeks and 1 day, I threw up in the parking lot at walmart and have been feeling waves of nausea ever since. I'm thinking it will go away soon.

4. How's Nate?

Nate is more than I could ask for. He's fairly concerned that I've been abducted by aliens, but loves me and encourages me anyway. His internship is going so well. He's been pulled into a couple of "non-intern" projects which is really exciting. It's a great company and we'd love for him to land a job there, but either way, we're grateful for all of the experience he's getting.

5. How's Summer (the dog)?

Summer is crazy. We are working hard to get her trained and ready for a baby sister (or brother) in 6.5 months. We tried to explain it to her, but she got distracted by a squirrel.

6. When is the official due date?

April 27, 2011. That puts me at about 10 weeks.

7. Any odd cravings or aversions?

I crave Gummy bears. All the time. I never cared much for gummy bears, but I find myself wanting them all the time. My aversions change every five seconds but have (surprisingly) included peanut butter and red sauce often.

Pray for us and our little growing baby. We are so excited and working constantly to prepare ourselves, our marriage, and a whole bunch of other things for this little one.

Ahh... Feels good to get that off my chest. Now I can blog again.

Things I'm Learning....

2010-08-16T09:47:00.001-07:00

This is an extremely transitional month for me. I'm wrapping up my internship, searching for a new job, and trying really hard not to cry..... So in this fragile time of my life, here's what I'm learning...

•Riding around on a scooter through a really really really old town with your husband is the most carefree experience I've had yet.

•They don't call BFF's BEST for nothing.

•FOOD IS NOT THE ANSWER!

•My brother is abnormally talented.

•Nanny agencies... well... I guess I'm not allowed to publicly display my opinion about them.

•I want to live in a house.

•Puppies are God's gift to those of us uncomfortable with snuggling.

•Cousins never cease to make me giggle.

•I hate feeling rushed and making rushed decisions.

•God calls us to be thankful in all things. I read that this morning. Only because my computer was so dead it had to charge for 15 minutes before it turned on. But I read it nonetheless... "For we are your people and the sheep of your pasture; we will give thanks for ever and show forth your praise from age to age" (Psalm 79:13).

•Speaking of happy things.... I'm going to the Cardinals game tomorrow to sit in the green seats. Free drinks. Free food. Free husband time. Look for me on tv!

Summer's Half Birthday!

2010-08-10T20:41:00.000-07:00

Ok... so maybe Nate and I are looking a little too hard to try to find things to celebrate, plus if you think about it, dogs get less birthdays than people... But today is our doggie's half birthday! She is a whole six months old! We celebrated by letting her play at grandma's all day and then we gave her a bone and put a bow on her head and tried to get a good picture. She hated the bow... but she is becoming such a great, beautiful, well-behaved pup. She brings so much sunshine into my life. And these days she's brought so much more sunshine and so much less pee, poop, scratches, bites, bruises, etc.... Which makes the good parts even gooder.... uh... better. I love being a puppy mom. And I will celebrate that as often as I see fit.

In the words of Dwight K. Schrute

2010-08-09T05:22:00.000-07:00

"I am officially on the job market. And it's very exciting. I am ready to face any challenges that might be foolish enough to face me.... How would I describe myself? Three words: hard-working, alpha male, jack-hammer, merciless, insatiable. There's nothing on my horizon except everything. Everything is on my horizon..."

-Dwight K. Schrute

Sure... It's not the Bible. And we all know Dwight didn't leave the office for real... But I'll take it.

If you are looking to hire... for your convenience, I've broken it down into three parts: Professional Resumé, Sports and Special Skills Resumé, and Ashley Aucker Trivia.

Vacay...

2010-07-26T13:36:00.000-07:00

In 9 days, Nate and I will be here. Because a little over a year ago, we did this. We get to stay here. I can't wait.

Thank you, God, that you don't leave us.

2010-07-21T11:53:00.000-07:00

"And I will lead the blind in a way that they do not know,

in paths that they have not known I will guide them.

I will turn the darkness before them into light,

the rough places into level ground.

These are the things I do, and I do not forsake them."

Isaiah 42:16

Two Lunches.

2010-07-19T08:13:00.000-07:00

Last night I packed a lunch for myself and for my husband. We are two contributing members of society! Nate got a call on Friday asking him if he could start an internship on Monday (today) at a company called innoventor. It's been a short amount of time for him to prepare his brain and our schedule, but we are so excited!

I know this doesn't answer everything. In fact, it raises more questions. He's just starting his engineering internship (of which we have no idea the details of length, hours, etc.) and my ministry internship is rapidly coming to end in a month and a half. Scary. But Nate has kept a level head through most of it. Do you know that he searched for a job in the field that he worked very hard to earn a degree in for a year and half? He has been patient and kind and filled in the gaps where I couldn't. Neither of us could come close to saying we've navigated our struggles well. But I could not be more proud of my husband. He has worked hard at finding a job. He has been told "no" through way too many disingenuous H.R. emails. God is definitely working on us and challenging us and asking us to grow, but I am so grateful that at least for a month or so (who really knows anything these days), Nate and I get to go to work every day and do something that we love. And then come home at the end of the day and be with the one we love.

Thank you, Jesus. For your provision of the Auckers. We are grateful and humbled. And scared to death of where we're going next.

Celebrating.

2010-07-03T17:16:00.000-07:00

•Family.
•Our Nation's Indpendence.
•My precious husband's 23rd birthday!!
•Cake.
•Family Ziplining.
•Being away.
•Fireworks.
•One whole year of marriage!!!
•My sister's kid.
•My wedding dress being much too big.
•Sunsets.
•Perspective.
•Outlet malls.
•Reminiscing.

Fourth of July may be my new favorite holiday. Don't tell Christmas.

Things I LOVE about Summer.

2010-06-28T08:34:00.000-07:00

I love Summer. I love it enough to name my dog after it. So here's why...

•Sunshine. I need to say that out loud, because the sun doesn't shine very often in the winter. And I will not let myself forget how great it is to have the sun shine down on me.

•Warmth. Yeah... it's hot. But there's nothing better than coming out of a freezing office building and feel the warm relief on your skin.

•Swimming! Go swimming. For a whole day. Wear Sunscreen... but let yourself get sunkissed right on the nose. That's my favorite.

•Epic Tuesday. Each Tuesday, we get to hang out with our students DURING THE DAY. I love that our kids are out of school for the summer.

•The Lake. Oh the lake... it torments me when I'm not there. It relaxes me when I am there. It has sunshine and boats and swimming and Nate all in one.

•Nate. We fell in love a few summers ago. We got engaged two summers ago. And got married one summer ago.

•Ice Cream. Scroll down and watch the video... so funny.

•Golf. I don't play golf. But sometimes I really want to. And I think that's nice.

Date Night.

2010-06-20T07:44:00.000-07:00

So Nate and I have decided that this Summer, we are going to date. A long time ago - like 5 years ago - Nate and I started dating. Now, we look back and remember how much fun it was to date each other and how at the end of those dates, we wished we didn't have to go our separate ways. Enter Marriage Dating. You get to hang out and laugh and be creative and engage in activities together... and then (all dirty jokes aside), you get to go home together.

Our designated date nights are Monday and Thursday. This past Thursday was our first one... And it was awesome. We had a toy story slumber party in preparation for seeing a matinee showing of Toy Story 3 the next day.

Our date started around 8:00 p.m. And to start it out right, we had to get snow cones. We headed to Kirkwood, where we enjoyed some sugar-free goodness (Nate got clear) and walked around for a while.

By the time we got home to begin the toy story party, It was 9:30 and we were turning into crabby tired children - totally fitting for our toy story slumber party. So we made our pallet, complete with our awesome toy story blanket, and decided instead of watching Toy Story 1 AND 2, we picked the one we were least familiar with. We watched every minute of Toy Story 2. That never happens by the way, we either fall asleep or fold laundry or whatever.... It was fun to stay awake and we were fully prepared and totally excited to see Toy Story 3 the next day. It was a great kickoff to a fun summer of dating...

Total Cost: $4.00 ($2/snow cone)
Things we learned: 1)Start early if you have a lot of plans. Especially if those plans include TWO movies. 2)Engage in your date, even when you're tired. It will wake you up.