This time two months ago...

Disclaimer: This is a fairly detailed account of giving birth to Elijah. It's more for me than you. I don't think it's graphic, but I've been in the childbirth and baby world for far too long to really have a good radar on that... So good luck and don't say I didn't warn you.

This time two months ago....

I had been trying to walk the baby out for days. Not because I was terribly uncomfortable (although I was definitely rotunda nofunda) but because I couldn't wait to meet the being that had been kicking and punching and hiccuping inside of me for months. So that morning, I took a long walk with a couple of girlfriends, ate a turkey sandwich, took a nap and when I woke up, my water broke. 4:20 p.m. I called Nate at work and forgot to use our code word (mistletoe). All I said was that I was pretty sure my water broke and that he needed to hurry home. Then I called my mom who was at the lake. Then I called my sister. Then I called the doctor and told her how afraid I was. Nate took an hour to get home from work so for about 40 minutes I was packing frantically trying not think about the fact that my baby would be here in 24 hours or less and that at the very moment, I was all alone. I remember taking a moment and thanking God that I was finally going to get the whole labor and delivery thing over with. And then praying over and over that my baby would arrive safely. My dad called and prayed with me too.

FINALLY, Nate got home (he was stuck in dumb traffic). I was standing there with my bag, his bag and our carseat. I remember I packed him a toothbrush, a pair of jeans, a pair of boxers and like 10 t-shirts. Did I mention I was a little panicked? Anyway, we took my route to the hospital and made it their in no time at all. And since I wasn't having any contractions yet, I didn't feel like yelling at Nate while we were driving (which is always what I pictured). When we arrived, they evaluated me to make sure my water had indeed broken (it had) and moved me into a labor and delivery room. Nate's parents came and brought him dinner and me a cup of the good ice they have at chick-fil-a. Then the doctors started pumping me full of pitocin since I wasn't going into labor on my own. I remember my nurse was 35 weeks pregnant and I felt bad that she was going to have to pull an all-nighter with me, but wouldn't get her own baby just yet. My friends Randall and Emily stopped in and I begged Emily to stay and help me give birth since my sister wasn't going to make it out of Denver in time. Around 11:30 p.m., my mom rolled in from the lake and my birthing team was ready to go.

The nurses kept asking me when I wanted my epidural. Not that they were pushing me to get it, but I think the anesthesiologist wanted to go home. I kept asking if I was any further dilated, but they wanted to check me as little as possible because the likelihood of infection is much higher when your water breaks. So they decided not to check me until after I got the epidural and said to let them know when I was uncomfortable and they would order it for me. So as the contractions got stronger, I became "uncomfortable" and decided it was time. I did it all wrong. I was trying not to throw up before the guy even came into the room. I informed him that I watched way too many birthing tv shows and that I was terrified. He told me to hold still, my whole body winced. He told me not to jump, I almost flung myself off the bed. But finally, I was relieved of the "uncomfortable" pain I was feeling and was able to get some rest. Actually I laid awake all night. Praying that my baby would be safe and that I would be a good mommy and that the beautiful miracle of birth wouldn't freak Nate out too much. I also watched Seinfeld. I hate Seinfeld, but it was the only thing that was on.

Around 6:00 a.m., they checked me again and I was 9.5 centimeters dilated. I was told that my doctor (who had given birth to triplets five months prior) needed to feed her three babies and then be on her way and that I would start pushing at 8:00 a.m. The rest is kind of a blur. At that point I was so tired from being up all night, I wasn't sure I would have the energy to sit up much less push a baby out. But then they gave me the last red jello from the hospital's fridge. And about twenty minutes later, I gave it back. I had eaten it way too fast. But it kind of brought the pregnancy full circle. My last time pregnant puking.

Sure enough, 8:00 a.m. arrived and I started pushing. This was definitely a blur. And all I wanted to do was sleep between contractions. So I did.

But then after an hour of pushing and a few other routine procedures, the nurse to my left hit me on the shoulder and said "open your eyes! open your eyes!" I opened my eyes and I saw my baby boy. They placed him in my arms and I was overwhelmed to say the least. I didn't know what to do or feel or think. He was kind of purple and they told me that the umbilical cord was wrapped around his neck two times. And for some reason, that is when it hit me. He was here. He was real. And he was mine.

So now two months later he is fussy and poopy and rarely sleeps when I want him to. But he smiles and coos and even laughs at me. When he arrived, it was magical. I can't explain and I don't think I should even try, but I will remember the details of that miraculous experience we were given.

I love you, Elijah. You were an answer to so many of my questions and prayers. Thank you for changing my life and making it more amazing than I could have ever imagined. In just two months.