The Year Of Hope...

So... this is late. Very late in fact. But I’m giving myself all kinds of grace thanks to pregnancy, moving, and doing them both at the same time.

One of my favorite “crafty” blogs is this one. The girl is talented and oh so impressive. I can never produce anything as good as her... even when I’m copying. However, one thing I have decided to embrace is her version of a new years resolution. She chooses one word every year to focus on. Last year, it was “story”. She talked a ton throughout the year about her story and how it fits with the stories of those around her. It amazed me how much she was able to learn and focus on from one simple word.

Anyway, I’m stealing her idea. It’s no secret that 2010 was a tough year for my little family. My husband was unemployed and encompassed all the side effects that come with that. I was working harder than I ever had before to reach a goal that I didn’t end up meeting. Things tended to come swiftly and unexpectedly and left us hopeless. In fact, the day that we found out we were pregnant (which to us, was not super great news at the time), Nate was in a car accident on his way to work and at the end of the day, he was let go from his internship (we didn’t know it at the time, but he was only let go for a week.... did enough to scare the poop out of us though). I won’t go into my details, but it was a terrible day in my world as well. The sad thing is, that’s just one example of times when Nate and I cried and held each other and felt as though this had to be rock bottom. I’m not trying to sound like a martyr or anything... I get that I’ve got a lot more life to live and we will know great (and greater) pain like this again. But 2010 was easily the most challenging year of my [young] existence.

Then came December. I was beginning to be able to eat again and function and make it a full 24 hours without crying. We were in the process of buying our first home so that little baby Aucker wouldn’t have to live in the crate with Summer. And of course, The hope and excitement of Christmas loomed ahead. The best part of it was that at the very beginning of the Christmas season, Nate came home with some of the best swift and unexpected news we could ever ask for... A job offer as a Mechanical Engineer at one of the most creative, unique, and successful engineering companies in St. Louis. He shocked me with the good news at dinner with his parents. I didn’t believe him (as I tend to not believe shocking news for at least a few days... sometimes months), but he showed me the papers. For the rest of that month, there were several moments that Nate and I could not believe the lives we were living. Sure it was stressful trying to communicate through a move and a little unfair that I couldn’t carry much of anything and just bossed people around. But there were many many moments that we were both completely beside ourselves with the way that God had blessed us. In a time that we weren’t the most eager to trust Him, He pursued us like no other and gave us a big fat YES to a whole bunch of prayers. We had great hope for the coming year.

And now it’s 2011 and my one little word is just that: hope. Hope that we won’t face another year full of trials, although we will always remember to plant our feet and bank on grace. Hope that we will give birth to a healthy baby boy who will change our lives for the better. And hope that no matter what happens, we serve a God who can be trusted. While he promises suffering, he also promises life and he promises to never leave us. So we have hope. And that is what I know now. I am excited to learn more and more about this one little word throughout the year. I’m excited to see what God will do in Nate and in our little guy and in me. I can’t promise it will be a good year. But I can promise to live in hope, anxiously waiting on God’s next move.